And speaking of slow days

A few weeks ago we got the following email from a guy at another bank:

In an attempt to break the grip of a summer Friday Jon Smith* is attempting to eat one of every item in the vending machine.  I just smacked his belly and it sounded like a 55 gallon drum.  Woooohoooo!  Have a great weekend.  Go Jon!

Done: Special K bar, Wheat Thins, Oreo Snack cookies, Popcorn (unpopped), Lays Potato Chips, Kit Kat, Gold Roll Pretzels, M&Ms with peanuts, Doritos, Almond Joy, Cheetos, Sun Chips Cheddar, Frito Lays Original, Cheez-Its, Gold Honey Wheat Braids, Fig Newtons, Oreo Cookies, Short Bread Cookies, Pop Tarts strawberrt, Famous Amos Chocolate Chip cookies, Animal Crackers, Twizzlers, Snack Wells Creme Sandwhich, Twix, Rice Krispy Treats.

Left: M&Ms, Starburst, Ruger Wafers chocolate, Ruger Wafers vanilla, Snickers, 3 Muskateers, Hershey Bar, Raisonets, Welch's Fruit Snacks, Skittles

A couple hours later we got the following email, titled "Man beats machine!"

Jon "the Snackman" Smith has successfully eaten one of every item in the vending machine.  The entire trading floor erupted in applause as he finished up with a flare by eating five blue M&Ms one at a time.  It took him under four hours to consume 9,642 calories.  We now believe that the credit crisis is officially over!  Have a good weekend!

This is one reason I love working on a trading floor.  When things get slow these guys combine their wit and creativity with their need for gambling, and come up with the funniest bets.  I've seen money bags (everyone writes their name on a $20, throws it into a bag, and one is drawn, leaving the winner upwards of $1000,) pushup bets, and a mariachi band for a birthday but never something like eating one of every item in a vending machine.  It's really awesome when something like this happens, because everyone really does get involved, and it's just crazy to have 350 people erupting in cheering and applause.

All in a day's work

I often times am asked what I do all day at work.  Some days I'm very busy running around booking extensive international travel, decoding piles of expenses, arranging meetings with several extremely busy MDs, tracking people down, etc.

Other days my time is filled with tasks not quite as...traditional as one might expect to find at one of the world's largest banks.  Today was one of those days.  Today was filled with the following:

• Running to Lord & Taylor for the bossman to pick up a gift with the Batman card
• Grabbing some almonds for an under the weather loose cannon
• Continuing to act like a collection agency, following up, and following up, and following up with the stragglers, trying to get them to jump through some HR hoops
• Researching and then comparing the nutritional information between Baked Lays and Classic Lays, and then printing out and highlighting for the bossman (who's supposedly on a diet)
• Guessing the age of one coworker, who offended another coworker by putting them in the same age category.  Something along the lines of, "Do you know any good bars for people our age?"  (The one asking is 14 years older.)
• Arguing the differences between blonds and brunettes.  I told my coworker to check out some photos online (of a guy I didn't know) who was cute.  She then told me, "Oh I get your type now."  "What, scruffy?"  "No, blond."  "Blond??"  I've never dated a blond, nor ever really been interested in a blond.  This coworker has seen pictures of different guys I've dated in the past few years.  I listed off the guys, all of whom she said were blond.  One of these guys came into the office once, so I asked another coworker if she thought he was blond, she said yes.  What????  So then we proceeded to scour the floor for guys either of us considered blond.  For the record, we could not find ONE blond guy on the entire floor.  It turns out my light brown is a New Yorker's blond.  There are no blonds here.  (Anyone who reads this who knows guys I've dated.....do you consider any of them blond?)  

Some days are tougher than others.

As heard from the trading floor...

"There she is!  Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.  Give up!  Give up piggy!  It's over!"

The guys hate Hillary.  One of my favorites, Charlie, is biggest loose cannon I've ever been around, and he loves to shout things at the tv every time Hill makes an appearance.  This quote was the day after Indiana's primary.

I work with a bunch of lunatics.  And I love it.

Happy Administrative Professionals Day indeed!

So last Wednesday was Administrative Professionals Day, aka Secretary's Day.  I've been in the administrative field many years on this day, and every year no one has even mentioned it.  I don't really expect anyone to.

This year was quite the treat.

Rob, one of my favs, bought me lunch from Appetito Ristorante.  I got the Gnocchi al Pesto and it was DEVINE!  Seriously so good, I want it every day.  The problem?  It's $20.  I know, right?  I may have splurged and bought it for dinner tonight...

Yes, that's my lunch on my desk.  Traders don't (typically) go to lunch.  We eat at our desk.  I use the term "we" loosely, as I'm not a trader, I just support them.

John was in London but was a peach and had some amazing chocolates sent over from Three Tarts.  
They were so delish!

Love my boys.

Bon Anniversaire

Last Wednesday I had my one year anniversary with HSBC.  Before this job the longest I'd been anywhere was about 6 months so I think this is quite the accomplishment.  (I guess the fact that my life isn't constantly being interrupted by cheerleading and college probably helps?)

Anyway, as I was walking from Cosi back to work I happened to walk right where I'd stood exactly one year prior, while I talked on the phone to my dad about how my head was spinning, I was in way too deep, and had no idea what I was doing.  (I'm sure this all sounds really dumb considering I book travel, arrange meetings, and basically just make sure my boss stays on schedule.)  However at the time I was so caught up (and still kind of am) in the trader jargon and just felt like they'd completely hired the wrong person.  I'd only ever worked for small companies, and now here I was, feeling totally lost, working for the largest corporation in the world.

As my dad always does, he calmed me down and helped me sort through what was important to worry about and what I could deal with later.

Now here I am, one year later and I'm still completely lost in the world of Wall Street, however I've got the assisting thing pretty much down, have met some of my favorite New Yorkers, and work for the absolute best boss in the world.

Thank you HSBC.  

Nothing beats shopping in the middle of a Tuesday on someone else's dime

Yesterday John needed me to pick up his new suit from Brooks Brothers for the wedding now at in Guatemala.  He always feels so badly sending me on personal errands (even though I welcome the excuse to leave the office, especially on spring days like yesterday!) so he tries to "make it up" to me.  Seriously?

He let me make a stop of my own.  I just got a dress.  And a tank.  And a skirt.  Not too shabby for Rachel.

Nothing gayer

So a nameless gent I work with (whose attire greatly resembles Elton John's) and his partner just got these 10 week old poodles who are brother and sister.  That's Hildegard on the left, and Wolfgang on the right.  The best part?  The other pictures the included had owner #1 in an orange shirt, and owner #2 in a blue shirt.  Nothing better.  I love it when this guy comes onto my floor, he always makes me smile.

I love checking Postsecret every week.  Sometimes the secrets are inspiring, sometimes they're sad, and sometimes they're funny.  This one totally made me laugh out loud because I could totally relate.  No, my passwords aren't cuss words, however my boss's are.  We seriously have at least 10 different passwords/logins/usernames, etc for soooo many different things at work, so I keep track of John's passwords.  They're all pretty much the same cuss word, sometimes with a number, punctuation mark, or capital letter, depending on what specifics are required.  I thought it was the funniest thing one day when he couldn't log in to view his 401K so I had to call IT for help.  I spoke with a man (who was in India, by the way) for a while and then handed the phone to John so he could approve the password reset.  He had to keep saying his password a few times so the Indian man could understand.  It cracked me up.  Yet another reason why I love my boss.