Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

January photo a day: Day twenty four

2012-01-25T13:29:00.002-05:00

Guilty pleasure.

Goldfish. While watching RHBH. In bed. Triple threat.

January photo a day: Day twenty three

2012-01-25T13:28:00.003-05:00

Something old.
My apartment building. Been housing happy tenants like me since 1904. There's spots near the lobby where people used to park their horses.

January photo a day: Day twenty two

2012-01-25T13:25:00.002-05:00

Your shoes.
Initially planned on wearing my new brown boots but thought better of it after remembering all the slush that would inevitably be filling the streets today. Switched to my trusty Tretorns

January photo a day: Day twenty one

2012-01-25T13:23:00.002-05:00

Reflection.
Headed out in the first real snow of the season, sporting the sleeping bag coat for the first time this winter. I hear it's 11 degrees out. Only brunch at Sarabeth's could drag me out.

January photo a day: Day twenty

2012-01-25T13:21:00.003-05:00

Someone(s) you love.
Hudson, Jared, Ryan, Megan, Spencer, Madeline, and baby on the way.

January photo a day: Day nineteen

2012-01-25T13:20:00.003-05:00

Sweet.
Sweet Spencey pushed between two giant pink dogs at FAO. Nothing sweeter than this boy with his dimple.

January photo a day: Day eighteen

2012-01-25T13:19:00.002-05:00

Something you bought.
Round trip flight to Miami!

January photo a day: Day seventeen

2012-01-25T13:18:00.003-05:00

Water. First day wearing my new wellies through the puddles on my way to work. Tretorn boots are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Insanely more comfortable than cheapies or Hunters.

January photo a day: Day sixteen

2012-01-25T13:16:00.003-05:00

Morning.
Love having an east facing window. Makes it so much easier to wake up with sunshine flooding in. (Especially after three years in the financial district without a bedroom window. Made for GREAT sleeping, but impossible to wake up.)

January photo a day: Day fifteen

2012-01-25T13:14:00.003-05:00

Happiness.
One of my favorite hymns sung today in Sacrament Meeting.

Happiness round two.
The Chrysler Building. The Empire State Building has nothing on it.

January photo a day: Day fourteen

2012-01-25T13:13:00.001-05:00

Something you're reading.
The audio version. I dare anyone to try reading or listening a single chapter without laughing out loud. Hysterical.

January photo a day: Day thirteen

2012-01-25T13:11:00.002-05:00

In your bag.
Gloves, Hobo, Neutrogena hand cream, keys, ear buds, sunglasses, and marcel curling iron bc I didn't have time to do my hair before work.

January photo a day: Day twelve

2012-01-25T13:09:00.001-05:00

Close up.
I have loved these wellies dearly, but sadly, they've sprung a leak.

A letter to my sixteen year old self

2012-01-24T17:18:00.007-05:00

Saturday was a perfect day. I went to brunch at Sarabeth's, spent a few hours in Barnes & Noble, relaxed, went to the gym, and spent the evening laughing until I was hysterical with friends. While in B&N I came across a book recently published filled with letters celebrities had written to the sixteen year old version of themselves. I read through it and it was sometimes funny, and sometimes emotional. I found myself thinking about what I would write to my sixteen year old self. The author challenges the reader to write a letter, so I decided to do it. I really enjoyed it, and it also made me think about what my forty five year old self would write to me now.

Dear 16 year old me,

Wow. Are you ready to learn a lot? Because, you will, at least in the next 12 years. I’m sure even after that, but at this point I can’t say for certain, because I can only see the past, not the future.

Let me start off by telling you that life is good. It’s not without hard times, but overall, you are happy and incredibly blessed. You will make some amazing friends who are as close as family, with whom you’ll maintain a relationship for years and years. You’ll learn so much from these friends. Your family will grow with in-laws, nieces, and nephews, all of them a perfect fit. You’ll travel and see parts of the world others only dream about. You’ll do things others talk about and say, “I wish I could do that,” and instead of just wishing, you’ll just decide, and you’ll go do it while you have the freedom and flexibility to do so. In the beginning of your adult life you’ll take a leap, and it will pay off. Big time.

Now. A few pieces of advice. I wish when I was your age someone would have told me these things.

You’ll eventually get over your insecurities regarding your height. You won’t ever totally love being tall, but you’ll be okay with it, and learn to own it. You’ll even wear heels! I know, it seems crazy, right? But once you quit acting so awkward and insecure about it, others’ reactions won’t be one of surprise, but complimentary, and the attention you get will be mostly positive (and you won’t really care about the negative.)

A bit of bad news. Your senior year of high school adults will tell you that you’re going to date all the time in college. You’ll hear that a lot, actually. Don’t believe them. You won’t. Sure, you’ll have little blips on the radar here and there, but mostly it’ll be your roommates and friends being asked out on dates and having relationships and getting married. You’ll go to a lot of showers, and when you go home from college you’ll be asked ALL THE TIME about who you’re dating, and why you’re not married. It’ll feel painfully awkward and you’ll hate it. You’ll feel so insecure and like something is wrong with you since everyone told you you’d date, and it seems like everyone else is getting married. If you believe one thing, believe this: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. You will date later in life, a lot. You’ll just be a late bloomer. There are so many things waiting for you after college that you would most likely not experience if you’d settled down early. Let me tell you something Mom will eventually think of senior year of college. When someone asks, “Are you dating anyone?” respond with, “Oh, nobody special.” You’ll wish she would have thought of it sooner. It will prevent people from saying awkward things to “make you feel better” if you had just told them no. But there is some good news, you will make a lot of good friends, and have a TON of fun. In some ways college will be the best years of your life. It's the perfect amount of freedom and lack of responsibility. There will be a handful of girls throughout the years that you'll become so close to, that you would not have traded to have dated more. I promise!!

You will have your first real boyfriend when you’re 21, and you’ll fall in love, but he’s more of a good friend than anything. You’ll learn all about relationships and kick yourself for judging others’ in the past. Breaking up will be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. It’ll be long and drawn out and painful (like future break ups) but you’ll get through it, and you’ll learn so much and really will not have regrets. You’ll date some really great guys who ultimately just aren’t for you. In addition to dating heartache, you’ll experience other heartache that will feel never ending. Even though it seems impossible, I promise, you’ll eventually get over it.

There will be something that happens in New York in 2001 that will change the way our country operates. I can’t go into more detail, but you’ll be sucked into the news more than an average freshman in college. You’ll also find yourself rooting for the Yankees, when everyone else is rooting for the Red Sox, in the 2004 pennant series. You won’t know why, since it seems the Sox are the team to root for. There’s a reason for these feelings. They’re foreshadowing.

It will be nearly impossible, but do your best to not let your emotions get wrapped up in the problems of your loved ones. It will take you a long time to learn, but you can’t control other people. (Yes, you can be a bit controlling. Even at my age, I haven’t really mastered letting go yet, but I realize it’s a problem we have.)

BE YOURSELF. Quit worrying about being popular, you have a ton of friends. It’s cliché, but being popular really doesn’t matter. Just be yourself because people really do prefer the real you, and you’ll be happier that way. You’ll find it’s the guys who you let your guard down around, because you have no interest in them, who end up liking you the most.

You know how you eat Taco Bell at 10pm after cheer practice whenever you want? You won’t be able to do that anymore and look the way you do in just a few more years. APPRECIATE THAT BODY! To be honest, as you get older you’ll still pretty much be able to eat what you want and look okay (a perk to being tall), but you will never have that perfect body that you have now. Enjoy it.

Your life (at least until you’re 28) will be different and so much better than you expect. You will meet such amazing people, find more success than you anticipate, and frequently find yourself overwhelmed with joy. It will not be without difficult times, but you will be grateful for all your experiences and find yourself thanking your Heavenly Father over and over for your blessings and your trials.

Enjoy the ride. Don’t compare yourself with others. Look for the best but have realistic expectations. Oh, and make sure you don’t drive off from the gas station with your tank lid on your roof. When you go to retrieve it you end up in fender bender. Nothing major, but it’s a stupid mistake that could have easily been avoided.

Much love,
28 year old you

January photo a day: Day eleven

2012-01-11T12:40:00.003-05:00

Where you sleep.
I love my bed so much I could marry it. Best purchase I've ever made.

January photo a day: Day ten

2012-01-11T12:38:00.001-05:00

Childhood.
Such simple times.

I couldn't pick just one. Love this one of me and Brad.

January photo a day: Day nine

2012-01-11T12:09:00.001-05:00

Daily routine.
Walking walking. Anywhere and everywhere.

January photo a day: Day eight

2012-01-11T12:00:00.002-05:00

Your sky.
I guess I should have waited for day six's photo for this day, but, oh well. I still think this sky (and skyline) is completely lovely. This is taken from the east side of the Reservoir, looking west. My apartment is somewhere in the middle of that skyline. This picture makes me so so happy.

January photo a day: Day seven

2012-01-11T11:55:00.002-05:00

Favorite. I had a hard time picking a favorite anything for this day, but when I walked outside to a sunny 60 degree Saturday, I was so happy. Sort of ironic because I just went on and on about loving the seasons, and I still do, but that doesn't mean I don't completely enjoy a random 60 degree day in the Park in January. It was so lovely. I'm calling it my favorite winter day.

January photo a day: Day six

2012-01-06T17:10:00.001-05:00

Makes you smile.

Sun setting over Manhattan.

January photo a day: Day five

2012-01-06T12:15:00.003-05:00

Something you wore.

I sort of love photo a day. It gets me blogging and is sort of a fun snapshot of the day. Yesterday I got home and tore off everything pictured because even when it's cold outside, when you walk to and from work, on the inside you're sweating. I happened to glance over while going through my mail and thought, "There's my photo of the day." New ($23.99) coat, mittons, beanie, scarf, and Ugg boots. I know there are mixed feelings on Uggs but when it's 1 degree outside they are necessary for walking to work. It sucks when it's snowy/slushy outside because then I have to wear my wellies and even with thick socks they're just not as warm.

I heard all about the obscenely warm temps in California this week. People, I'm not jealous. No, I don't love the 1 degree weather, or even like it. Leaving work on Tuesday it was painful. But would I trade my seasons for beach weather in January? Actually....no. I'd prefer this winter weather to be more like 30s (today and tomorrow it's actually supposed to be 50), but I'll take what I can get. I cannot believe I actually feel this way but I do. And I'm sure one day if I live in California again I'll think the opposite. I can't imagine not having the winter wardrobe of layers and scarves, hats, and coats. I really do love getting all bundled up. I will complain somedays and I'll be ready for it to end about a month or two before it actually will, but I really do love it all. There is nothing, nothing like spring in New York. Everyone talks about fall in New York, which is incredible, but there's something about the first pleasant days that are filled with sunshine and bursting with tulips and daffodils. It is so lovely.

I'm reading a book called My City, My New York I impulsively bought while standing in line to buy my Kauai book. I freaking love it. It's a collection of blurbs from famous New Yorkers sharing their favorite places in New York. It's basically a big love letter to New York and my NY bucket list is growing because of it. I'm sure this is not the only time I'll be writing about this book.

I dogeared a page the other night that summed up so many feelings I have about spring in New York, Central Park, and the happiness with which I'm so frequently filled when I'm thinking about this place.

I grew up in Los Angeles, where all the seasons are pretty much the same. You can get away with having a jacket that just goes to your waist. But that's the extent of seasonal change in Southern California. And when I first got here, at the end of November of 1992, a friend of mine at ABC said to me, "There will come a time sometime in the spring when everything will just be perfect. The blooms will be out. The sun will be shining. You go sleeveless. And all of a sudden it all makes sense why you're here."
And the first time I felt that was in the spring of 1993. I was walking in Central park with my young daughter and that spring hit me. And so I have paid close attention to this ever since. Plus there's something about Central Park. And I know it's not the intellectual center of New York. I know it's not the theatrical center. I know it's not the educational center. But there's something about this giant park, this 840-acre park. It's the City's backyard - it's our backyard - both individually and collectively. It brings us together and in touch with nature in a way that no other place in New York can do.
So I use it all the time, and I live not far from the park. That spring of 1993, I took my daughter to the carousel and she was less than a year old. And I'm riding around it and she is having a blast. And something hit me: I thought, if I should die right now, I would be so happy. I was just so happy that I couldn't imagine life getting better than at that very moment.
I think that every spring I take that attitude and I can't wait for it to happen, especially after a brutal winter. The sun is finally out and you can just feel people's liberation after hibernation.
-Bill Ritter

May 5, 2007 was that day for me. KaRyn and I spent the day in Central Park and I was overwhelmed by the lovely spring perfect day. Having moved here in February, this day was like heaven.

Wedding wedding!!

2012-01-05T16:54:00.004-05:00

To say Britt and Logan's wedding was fun would be a complete understatement. I was trying to think of what could have made it more fun and I think the only thing is if it were my own wedding. It was seriously a blast.
The rehearsal dinner was Thursday night at an Italian restaurant downtown called Trattoria Toscana. The dessert plate was ridiculous. Everything was amazing. Britt and Logan's siblings and fathers gave speeches and the whole evening was lovely.
Their photographers were with us this night and they were amazing. They are a married couple who know Logan because the husband, Stuart, served with him in Fiji. They live in Fiji now. Anyway, they stood outside the restaurant and when everyone would walk out they took a bunch of photos like they were paparazzi and it was awesome. It completely took me by surprise when I walked out but it was fun to see everyones reactions when they'd walk out. Some were total hams, Haley walked out like the celeb she is and just held her hand up to the cameras, and Britt and Logan walked out with glasses on and Log's hat pulled down low. It was a lot of fun.

And dinner we stopped by Britt and Log's new place to get a few things. Haley Roe and I got silly while waiting.

It was so fun to be together while Brittany got ready. As you can see she looked absolutely stunning. Seriously Britt always looks great but I have never seen her look better.

I died over this adorable hanger Britt ordered on etsy. So cute.

Everyone stayed at the Millennium Hilton downtown. In the morning I had to go up to the boys' suite to pick something up and they had this great view of the 9/11 memorial from their window.

When I used to see that couples would do a "first look" photo I used to think, "eh." I thought there was something so much more magical about seeing each other for the first time when they were actually getting married. However, I've completely changed my mind. It was so awesome to watch Logan stand there, knowing his gorgeous bride was right behind him, and then watch him turn and see her for the first time. And to be able to capture that moment on film was amazing. So many tourists stopped to take photos of them. It was so cute. Just the sight of Britt brought Logan to tears and that's when I realized, to have a man love you so much that he can't even keep from crying when he sees you on your wedding day would be pretty amazing.

After the sealing. I've never waited for a bride and groom outside the Manhattan temple before. It was kind of funny, people kept stopping to ask who we were waiting for, thinking it was a celebrity, since there was a big crowd of us and photographers. They thought the same thing the night before at the dinner.

Our group went to take photos across the street and Lincoln Center with the temple in the background and we were immediately stopped by a cop who said we needed a permit. Britt and Log had researched and had found out we only needed a permit if the photographer was using a tripod, or if we were asking people to move out of our photos. Since neither of those would be happening, they didn't get one. However, this police man would not let up. Logan went to talk to him and the VP of Lincoln Center just happened to be strolling by. She overheard and said she'd go take care of the permit, no problem. Logan's sister mentioned the night before that things just seem to always work out for Logan. We all laughed because Britt has the same luck. Between this, and the 50 degree sunny weather (in New York! On December 30th!) it seems their luck will continue.

We took a bunch of photos and even though we froze without our coats, we had a total blast.

I miss living with these two.

We all all headed downtown to Battery Gardens for the ring ceremony and reception. It was beautiful. We were greeted with the most amazing sunset over the Hudson River and Statue of Liberty, and the venue had gorgeous views.

Britt and Log's first dance to Ray Charles's Georgia. So sweet. I loved their choice of song. Everything the whole night was perfect. The photo booth, dinner, and especially the dancing. It was so fun to have so many former New Yorkers in town. We seriously danced our hearts out all night and just had so so much fun. At one point a bartender asked me why none of us were drinking alcohol and I said, "Do you think we need it?" He laughed and said, "I guess not." I wish I could express how much fun it was. At one point I just stopped and looked around at all my friends, dancing like no one was watching, making dorky faces and just having fun. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I am so thankful for my friends. I feel so incredibly blessed to have them in my life and for the lessons I've learned from them.

Britt and Logan did such a good job incorporating their heritage into their wedding. Logan is Scottish so the groomsmen wore green and blue plaid ties and Logan wore a green and blue plaid dinner jacket. They had a similar background for the photo booth. Brittany is part Hawaiian so when they left for the night they were wearing leis. Something I also really loved was their party favor. Back in May Britt and Logan took their first trip to Chicago together, to Logan's home. On their first night back to New York they got take out Chinese and they were given three fortune cookies. They each had one and decided the last would be their fortune together. It was something along the lines of, "Within the year you will move into a wonderful new home." That began their serious talks of marriage and here they were, two days before the new year, getting married. They had the fortune framed, and in lieu of favors made a donation to Habitat for Humanity, which is close to Logan's heart, to build others' wonderful new homes, and we were sent home with little Chinese takeout boxes with fortune cookies in them. I thought it was so perfect.

I know I'm forgetting things but it seemed like everything was just perfect. I am so thankful these two made it official!!

January photo a day: Day four

2012-01-05T16:12:00.002-05:00

Letterbox.
It seemed sort of weird but it was actually kind of cool to see all the photos of different mail boxes. I should mention, I had the best mail day yesterday. A wedding announcement from Lindsey, a thank you note, a Christmas greeting from New Mexico, and a J. Crew catalogue. And not a single bill. What could be better?

January photo a day: Day three

2012-01-05T16:10:00.002-05:00

Something you adore.

I stole these photos from Elise's blog of my nephew because I absolutely adore that boy.

January photo a day: Day two

2012-01-05T16:03:00.003-05:00

Breakfast

So it's kind of lame but I didn't eat breakfast. This was my lunch. Ashley, Jen, and I went to the famous Katz Deli for lunch. I didn't realize until Ashley told me but this is where the famous "I'll have what she's having" scene was filmed in When Harry Met Sally. That is one of my all time favorite movies so I made sure to watch it the night before we went.
The grilled cheese was delish! And I'm obviously having Diet Pepsi because they only had Pepsi products. Lame.

January photo a day challenge: Day 1

2012-01-05T15:46:00.003-05:00

I love Instagram. I've had it for a while but I'm loving it more and more and it's probably my favorite iPhone app. A lot of people are doing the January photo a day challenge and when I learned about it on Jan 2 I wanted in. Since I missed day 1 (photo of yourself) and I hadn't taken any photos at all on Jan 1 this year, I used a photo from Jan 1, 2011. I was in London wandering down Portobellow Road in Notting Hill. Not a bad way to spend spend New Year's Day.

That one time I went to Boston for 12 hours

2011-12-28T15:25:00.005-05:00

I was looking through the last year of my blog to start drafting a year in review post and was reminded what a pathetic blogger I was this year. The only things I could think of that I didn't blog though, were Thanksgiving and Hurricane Irene.

It all started earlier in the summer when I was thinking about how I've never been to Fenway. Any good baseball fan should see Yankee stadium, Fenway, and Wrigley. I grew up going to Wrigley but still hadn't made it to Fenway. I emailed Brad and it turned out there was really only one weekend the Sox were at home that worked for both of us - late in August. It would be hot, but we decided to at least go to the Fri night game vs the Sat day game.

At the beginning of the week there was a lot of talk of Hurricane Irene that was supposed to hit New York. Everyone was running out to the stores, stocking up on batteries, flashlights, candles, food, and bottled water. I was planning on being at Brad and Nadia's all weekend, and as Friday got closer, I realized I would miss the hurricane. I really didn't sweat it.

Part of the reason I didn't stress was knowing I'd be out of town, the other part was because every winter we have at least one storm that is supposed to be so dramatic and everyone gets all up in a tizzy. While I think it's smart to be prepared, I'm not one to jump on the drama wagon. These storms are never as bad as they predict (at least not in the city.) In fact, since I've lived here I've never once been inconvenienced because of a storm. Every time people have gotten the day off of work for a snow day, I've never been able to partake. If the market is open, the finance world goes on. In almost five years there has only been once the subways have shut down, and I walked the 4+ miles to work.

Anyway, I didn't sweat it.

I left on Friday and was headed up to Boston when I started getting emails like crazy. People from church were forwarding emails around, everyone was making sure everyone had a place to go to weather the storm, church was canceled (never seen that happen in my life), and then came an email that made me sort of scared for the first time. Caroline forwarded an email which stated that beginning at noon on Saturday all subways would be shut down, and depending on the wind levels, bridges and tunnels into the city would shut down as well. If this were the case, there would literally be no way off the island other than to swim. Sort of creepy...

I had already changed my Sunday return bus for Saturday evening because it looked like the Sunday buses might be canceled. Then I started getting alerts from the bus company that they were canceling more and more buses. (At this point they were guessing the storm would hit sometime between Saturday night and Sunday.) I changed my bus again to leave Boston on Saturday at 1pm. This is about the point that I realized I'd be back in New York with no emergency food or water. Like a virgin without oil, I got in touch with Emilee and desperately asked her to pick some things up for me at the grocery store and leave them with my doorman. That Emilee is a saint because the grocery stores were a nightmare.

I finally made it to Boston and quit thinking about the stupid hurricane. Brad picked me up and we went straight to Fenway. I immediately fell in love. Even though it's enemy territory, as a baseball fan you just can't help but be enamored with this charming park. I absolutely loved it and vowed to come back the next year when the Yankees were in town. They were playing the A's who I very quietly rooted for. I would have been louder but I was seriously pretty singled out there.

While I was at the game I received an email letting me know my 1pm bus was now canceled. Crap. I was really paranoid because I didn't feel like I could miss work on Monday. Luckily I was able to secure a spot on the 8am bus, the last one headed into New York that day.

Brad and I got back to a quiet dark house around 11pm and after a long talk with Nadia I finally went to sleep only to wake up to leave five hours later. The worst part of it was Madeline went to bed Friday night knowing her Auntie Rae Rae would be there when she woke up. Except, I wasn't. I was already gone. My heart was totally crushed knowing Nadia would have to try to explain to a three year old why I wasn't there.

On the way to the bus Brad took me to a grocery store because Emilee said our stores were totally picked over. There was no peanut butter, and hardly any bread. I was trying to get food that wouldn't need to be refrigerated and I could make without heat in case the power went out.

I got into town around 1pm on Saturday and it was strange, everyone was out and about as if there wasn't a potential deadly storm headed our way in a few hours. I was worried I was going to have to schlep my stuff the 30+ blocks home, since the subways weren't running anymore, but luckily I found a cab really easily. I later heard on the news that cabs were instructed to pick up any passengers, even if they already had someone, and if you saw a cop car you could hitchhike.

Getting to my neighborhood was a little eery. Windows were boarded and taped up in all the shops. There was a line around the block to get into grocery stores. The movie theater was closed with a sign saying it would reopen in a couple days. It was like a post apocalyptic world.

I was insanely exhausted and just wanted to sleep. I knew I should stay out as long as I could because who knew how long I'd be quarantined, but I gave in to my heavy eyelids and took a nice long nap. The below was the note that greeted me in the elevator of my building.

It wasn't until later that day I really started to feel alone. I hadn't felt nervous or worried at all up until that point. My bishop lives two blocks away. The church which was a safe zone is five blocks away. I've got friends nearby. Everything would be fine. The constant flow of incoming texts, calls, and facebook messages from friends all over checking in on me made me feel really loved. But the nonstop news coverage I had on in the background started to get to me. As I was getting ready for bed that night I realized maybe I should pack a bag in case I needed to leave in the middle of the night. That was a little nerve racking. The way my building wraps around, it would be REALLY hard for my window to break due to wind, so I wasn't really worried, but I still had that thought in the back of my mind. I started feeling lonely because I realized, I really don't know my neighbors, and if I had some sort of problem, it's not like anyone would be looking out for me. I really started thinking about how, if I had a real problem, I couldn't call my parents. There's nothing they can do. I can only recall one other time feeling like that, and it's when I was lost in Queens around 2am without a cab in sight. (Long story, I was still new to the city and got on a wrong bus. It sucked.) Anyway, more and more I was grateful for my membership in the church. My Elder's Quorum President, Relief Society President, and Visiting Teacher had all checked in on me. I guess what made the whole experience a little scary was having to go to bed and knowing that if something was going to happen, it would be when I was sleeping.

I had a hard time staying asleep, waking up every couple hours. When it was about 4am I woke up to pounding rain. It was so eery, knowing we were in the middle of it at that time. Eventually I fell back asleep, and woke up around 9am to sunny skies. I think I said aloud, "That was it??" Honestly, it was so anti climactic. I've experienced New York summer thunder storms that seemed worse. We'd been told on the news to stay inside most of the day because there'd be branches falling, but I did step outside my building for a minute to snap the below photo of my street. Only a few fallen branches, nothing major.

I think Mayor Bloomberg did a great job preparing the city. I don't think it's crazy to prepare the city for the worst, it just drives me nuts when people get hysterical before it's necessary. If I heard, "Batten down the hatches" one more time I think I would have lost it.

The best news is, I was able to partake in my first ever "snow day." As a kid I lived in Chicago for six years and never once had a day off school for the snow, and as previously mentioned I never have had a day off due to the snow in the city. But since the hurricane really did destroy Long Island and some of the other boroughs, a lot of the mass transit was down, so our office closed on Monday.

Monday was an absolutely gorgeous day. Emilee, Brittany, and I rode our bikes down the Hudson to the Shake Shack, and then went to Central Park with Ashley as well. It was the perfect unexpected day off.

The most thoughtful gift

2011-12-27T20:28:00.002-05:00

Christmas is such a fun time for me,

I love to spoil my family.

When thinking of gifts to give someone,

I sometimes have to put my thinking cap on.

I love to read our children's blogs,

To see what they have done.

And saw that Ryan and Megan

Had really had some fun.

One day as I was reading,

The comments of those blogs,

I came across a comment,

Of one I love so much!

She says she has a bucket list,

And some things she has done.

But I saw something there,

That I knew she would have such fun!

How fun, how fun, I yelled to your dad,

We have to do this for her Christmas gift.

I know she will love it...oh, yes she will,

She will really smile and get such a lift.

So off I went to get online to see what I could find.

Elise found it too so I wouldn't be in a bind.

Yes, up, up and away the three of us will go,

Yes a balloon ride for BooBoo, Dad, and me too!

So when you come back and the weather is warm,

Away we will go in the basket you know.

We hope you like this Christmas gift to you,

We love you so much our little BooBoo!

Merry Christmas 2011! Love Dad & Mom.

Best surprise ever.

Christmas weekend highlights

2011-12-27T11:43:00.004-05:00

-I was sent home from work before the market closed on Friday, that's never happend before.
-I was able to get on a bus that left an hour earlier than my scheduled departure.
-No traffic and very minimal travel stress.
-The usual late nights filled with long chats and hearty laughs with Brad and Nadia.
-Feeling like a hero when Madeline is so excited to see me.
-Tossing Spencer up in the air a million times and hearing him laugh and seeing his adorable smile.
-Snow magically falling while we were opening presents, even though the weather called for clear skies.
-Delicious food all weekend long.
-Catching up on sleep.
-Watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Twice. Laughing just as hard both times.
-Skyping with our family back in California.
-Being able to cross one off the bucket list next time I'm in California because my mom got me a hot air balloon ride.
-Extremely thoughtful gifts from Brad and Nadia's family.
-A very sweet Santa who still finds me in New Hampshire and leaves me a full stocking.
-Opening our last present to find out our family will all be together next summer in Kauai! So excited! I have never been so spoiled.
-Being able to skip the bus home and ride with Chloe.

Why do we blog survey

2011-12-23T13:20:00.001-05:00

From my cousin Tri's blog.

1. How long have you been blogging?
My first post was May 3, 2007.

2. Why did you start blogging?
It was maybe six months earlier I had started reading a few friends’ blogs and my sister’s as well. I didn’t really get blogging, had no idea what a community it is. I started reading more and more blogs after I started at my first job in New York. My first few months there were incredibly slow. There was no room for me on the trading floor so I sat a floor below. Being out of sight meant I didn’t get a ton of work and would get so bored. There are crazy firewalls at the banks so I couldn’t access my email or facebook, and this was before smart phones so I couldn’t kill time on my phone. (It seems so strange in hindsight to have to go all day without checking email.) I got so bored I started reading Wikipedia articles. It’s interesting how many more sites there are to kill time now than there were five years ago. Anyway, between my boredom, and constantly getting requests from family and some friends for photos from New York I decided to start a blog of my own.

3. What have you found to be the benefits of blogging?
I think the biggest benefit is having a record of my life. I’ve never been a good journal keeper, and haven’t been the best blogger the last year or two, but I really blogged a lot my first few years here and am so grateful for that. One of these days I really will print off some books of my blog so I have it in hard copy. I keep thinking (hoping) one day I’ll have grandchildren and maybe they’ll take interest in the fact that Grandma didn’t get married young like most other Mormons and had an amazing adventure being single. I don’t say that implying those who married young do not have fun fulfilling lives, not at all. It was just a really difficult time when I was in my early twenties and so many of my friends and all my siblings were married. I hope that if I ever have a child or grandchild in the same position, they will see their single status as an chance to take advantage of opportunities they may not have if they were married.
Blogging has also helped me to feel like I’m a part of so many friends’ lives, even though we live thousands of miles apart. As an adult it’s just not realistic to stay current on the lives of everyone you care about. It’s been nice to keep up with everyone this way. I also feel like it’s brought me closer to cousins who blog.
Blogging can also be really therapeutic. I try to stay pretty honest in my posts and sometimes it’s just a nice outlet. It’s pretty surprising how encouraging it can be to receive comments of support from friends, family, and even strangers. When I lost my job last year I felt so much support from everyone.

4. How many times a week do you post an entry?
These days it’s about twice a month. I just haven’t had the time and when I do have it, usually the last thing I want to do is get on the computer.

5. How many different blogs do you read on a regular basis?
A lot. My reader probably has around 100 but some of those rarely post and some of those post so frequently I can’t keep up.

6. Do you comment on other people's blogs?
I typically have something I want to say in response, and I like to know when people are reading my blog, so I will always comment unless a post doesn’t make me really have a thought one way or another. It’s always surprising to me when someone tells me they read my blog, and have for a really long time, but has never commented. I will say one thing, if you want lurkers to come out, I’ve learned the best way is to start a story and leave it on a cliff hanger for a long time. This wasn’t my intention but I found out about so many more readers this way.

7. Do you keep track of how many visitors you have?
Not really. I’ve set up an account with Statcounter but I rarely look at it. I don’t really trust the stats and haven’t spent enough time to find anything really that juicy.

8. Do you ever regret a post you wrote?
No, but I don’t write about my dating life until the person is pretty much not in my life anymore. The next serious relationship I have I will probably be more open about, but not nearly like I was in the past. Anyone else I go out with doesn’t get mentioned unless we’re basically exclusive.

9. Do you think your audience has a true sense of who you are based on your blog?
Hopefully. I try to be pretty honest.

10. Do you blog under your real name?
Yes.

11. Are there topics that you would never blog about?
I’m pretty open but struggle to find the right balance of being open and real, and being one of those bloggers who shares too much. Then I remember everyone has their own opinion and there will always be people who think negatively about me, so I think I should just write what I want to write and try not to spend time worrying what people are thinking. Sometimes I brush over topics because going into more detail would require sharing details about others I don’t think they’d want shared.

12. What is the theme/topic of your blog?
This question is probably more for people who actually blog about things like travel, books, food, etc. My blog is just about my life and random thoughts.

13. Do you have more than one blog?
At one point I had a private blog no one had access to, but I rarely wrote on it and I think it may have been deleted.

Leaves, leaves, leaves

2011-11-18T12:16:00.001-05:00

Happy Friday! It's been a tough work week. So looking forward to this weekend and only working Monday of next week. Hurray!

Soundtrack of my life.

2011-11-15T18:31:00.009-05:00

I've been wanting to do a post like this for months but just got too lazy. Sarah posted one like it (but was able to trim her songs down to ten) and it inspired me. It's so strange how puting your iPod on shuffle you can hear a song that just takes you back to such good, or hard times. I remember Katie once mentioning before she and Cam take a vacation they purchase a new album and listen to it a ton on their trip. That album then forever takes them back to that trip. Such a great idea.
I put my iPhone on shuffle and the below is what came up.

One Two Step – Ciara feat Missy Elliot
This song will forever take me back to the many dance parties that happened in the three building at the Ridge. It makes me think of Toni, and especially Becky doing her choreographed solo to the Missy Elliot part. That girl can shake it.

Cemeteries of London – Coldplay
This whole album takes me back to a cold New York winter. This came out around the time Curtis moved to Kansas City and I was holding on to a straining relationship that was just beginning to be really unhealthy. It’s sort of fitting it was a long, cold, dark winter because I was very much in that place. There were some serious lows.

I Can’t Stay – Killers
I hear this song and immediately feel like I’m walking the hot pavement of 40th Street from 6th Ave to 5th, to the office in the morning. It’s a humid New York summer and I just want to salsa to this song, the whole way to work.

Why Do I Keep Counting? – Killers
I’m driving my little Civic from Murrieta through the pitch black dark where there’s no lights anywhere on my way back to my parents after visiting Nathan, who I was dating before moving to New York. I would scream this song (and the whole album, really) at the top of my lungs.

You’re Not Sorry – Taylor Swift
Hands down the lowest point of my life, when things were the absolute worst with Curtis. This song, word for word, summed up my thoughts perfectly. Ugh. It was brutal. After reading this I can't help, "Why did you let this go on so long?" It's incredible how much I was willing to torture myself. Thankfully I learned. A lot. (And I’m starting to think I should remove all the sad songs that have ties to exes from my iPhone.)

Swell Charger – Hey Stroker
High school. No specific memory, but hearing this just makes me feel young, carefree, and like I’m headed to the beach.

Forever – Chris Brown
Oh gosh. I can distinctly remember dancing to this song with Britt at a party at Curtis’s old apartment (he didn’t live there anymore at the time) and she was crushing on someone who will remain nameless and I remember he came over to dance with us and I just wanted them to fall in love so badly, as he’s like a younger brother to me. However now I’m so happy she’s marrying Logan.

Such Great Heights – Iron and Wine
M & Ms. Kaleidescope. Commerical. Oh man, Toni Evans I hope you’re reading this. This song used to come on my favorite mix of Danny’s. My last semester of college a few of my girlfriends and I spent so many nights at our friend Danny’s playing cards from about midnight to 4am or sometimes later. Danny had a mix on his iPod that I absolutely loved and when this song would come on Toni and I would always say those three words because this song was on an M&M commercial. Danny lived in married housing because there were no rules there, and he wasn’t going to school at the time so he didn’t have to live in approved housing. He always had tons of Skittles and Dr. Pepper. Man, good times at Danny’s. He was like 27 and we always thought he was just a big kid who would never grow up. Now he’s expecting a baby girl with his wife.

Love Song – Sara Bareilles
I played this song on repeat like crazy around Christmas/New Years 2007. Curtis and I were in the honeymoon stage. We’d only been dating a few weeks when we both went home for 10 days for Christmas and it was like torture. I was completely twitterpated.

God Bless the Broken Road – Rascal Flatts
I love this song but it also has an annoying connotation because it came out when I was in college and so many kids were getting married and thinking this was their song. As if 21 year old BYU-Idaho students had had such long and broken roads to finding their ECs.

Misery – Maroon 5
Flying down the 15, rushing to see Dave in California. I couldn’t get there fast enough. (Foreshadowing)

Blow – Ke$ha
This might be the anthem of summer 2011. I traveled a lot, especially to Utah, and had a LOT of fun with friends. The first time I heard this song was in May, the last time I drove up to the Berkshires. Courtnie, Libby, and Ashley were in my car and I fell in love immediately. We had a dance party the whole way and I knew I had to download this song immediately.

Flashing Lights – Kanye West feat. Dwele
I absolutely love this song. I feel like just hearing this song immediately makes you cooler. I’ve loved this song for years but one distinct memory I have tied to this song is when I was in Rio driving to Buzios. The sun was shining, we were driving along the sparkling water, the windows were down, and this song was blaring. It was such a good day.

A Little Bit Stronger – Leighton Meester from the Country Strong album
This song (and whole album) take me back to all the early mornings during unemployment. I came back from Paris and had a really hard time adjusting back to New York time. I’d wake up around 5am every day and by 8 was ready to go do something, but had no job to go to. It was nice to live only a block away from a movie theater (especially since it was January.) I saw so many movies. When the nominations for Academy Awards came out I’d already seen 9 of the 10 best films nominated for best picture. Country Strong was a movie I really loved and I loved the soundtrack even more and played it over and over again. Dave was flying out a lot at this point so this album also has strong ties to him.

Any Other Name – Thomas Newman
This song is on the American Beauty soundtrack but I just fell in love with it in the last year. I guess maybe it’s sort of weird, but the music I listen to during most of my runs is melancholy, or thoughtful. I have my best runs when I’m down about something, or just have something really heavy on my mind so I guess that makes sense. This song is absolutely perfect for a thoughtful run around the reservoir at twilight. It almost makes me cry to think about. Those runs are just so therapeutic. I think so much, meanwhile looking around at the most gorgeous scenery, falling completely in love with my city all over again. I frequently think about what it will be like to leave the city someday and how heartbroken I’ll be when that day comes. It’s a really strange mixture of feelings of sadness and gratitude, and somehow in the end my head is clear.

New York, New York – Frank Sinatra
Oh wow. What doesn’t this make me think of? When I was visiting the city to decide if I wanted to move here I’d made a New York mix and of course this song was number one. I made sure it was playing when my cab drove into the city and it was magical. This will always make me think of Yankees games where they play it (whether we win or lose) and inspire me to run the New York City marathon (one day!) because they play it after the the gun fires, starting the race.

Swallowed in the Sea – Coldplay
Oh Kevin. I was so in puppy-love. Kevin took me to a Coldplay concert in 2005 and really kick started my love of Coldplay. A little part of Coldplay (I guess just the earlier albums) will always be tied to him. (PS Is it awkward that every guy I’ve mentioned, except one, is married now? Sorry to the wives if you’re reading this…)

Closer to Love – Matt Kearney
This song is me, riding my pink cruiser, up and down the West Side Highway along the Hudson River, so many days after work, summer 2009. Pure bliss.

Last Request – Paolo Nutini
This song was playing on repeat in my room the (first) time Curtis and I broke up. It was the least messy break up (funny how if you break up over and over again it just gets worse and worse.) The lyrics were perfect. I just wanted one more night.

My Milkshake – Kelis
This was my ringtone in college and I’m not even embarrassed to admit it.

Halo - Beyonce
This is a really great song. But even greater is a memory so many of my New York friends have tied to it. There’s a game we call iPod karaoke, that you can only play with really good friends, and everyone’s gotta be on board. Someone picks a song they know really well, and sits (or stands) in the middle of the group. The put the song on their iPod and crank up the music as loud as they can, and are also blindfolded at the same time, then sing along (and hopefully bust out some sweet dance moves.) It. Is. Awesome. And obviously not for the insecure. We haven’t played it in a couple years and I think we’re all kind of over it, but the times we played in the past were great. There’s always a couple people who bust out a song totally shocking. Like this one, for example, which was sung by our great friend Jeff. He pulled up a stool and sang his heart out. He knew every word and hit some serious high notes. One of my favorite moments was when I leaned over to his roommate and said, “Something tells me this isn’t the first time you’ve heard this” and he just laughed. Oh Jeffy, thank you for being such a good sport.

4 Minutes – Madonna feat Justin Timberlake
Man, I am so glad in every phase of life I always have friends who love to dance. I think summer 2008 was the summer for dance parties. There were a ton of parties that year and this song was one of the musts. When I hear this I’m immediately taken back to 7A in 71 Broadway, having a dance party, either with a completely packed apartment, or just my roommates.

God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen – Manheim Steamroller
Did anyone else grow up on Manheim Steamroller every December? This album makes the spirit of Christmas for a child come flooding back. I can feel the excitement all over again. It’s crazy how as adults we’re always saying, “I can’t believe Christmas is only xx days away,” but as kids it’s like torture waiting for the countdown.

Little Lion Man – Mumford & Sons
I was sitting in a bar on a date this summer and this song came on. I haven’t ever heard Mumford anywhere like that and got super excited. Here’s a funny story that maybe isn’t so funny if you’re my mom (sorry, if you’re reading this.) I’d met an older gent we’ll call Don Quixote earlier in the summer and we hit it off. He’d asked me for my number the first time we met and I didn’t really ever expect to hear from him. But I did. I didn’t think anything of it and was sort of oblivious to the fact that he was interested, because of the age difference. He’d text me pretty regularly and it was fun and flattering. I’d been with a friend when we met, and he’d been with a colleague. We happened to meet on a Tuesday at my favorite Yankee bar, and apparently he and his colleague went there every Tuesday. For the next few weeks after we met he’d always ask me on Tuesdays to swing by and the four of us always had a great time with tons of laughs. I would go when I could, but it was usually just for an hour or so because I always had something else going on.
One particular Tuesday I met up for about 30 minutes and then left because my mom, aunts, and grandma were in town and we were having dinner. He continued to text me while I was out, giving me a hard time for always being too busy. I finally agreed to meet him after dinner with my family.
While I was at Shake Shack with my family (the original, outdoor Shake Shack) we had one of those New York summer downpours that comes out of nowhere that leaves you completely soaked head to foot. I ended up going back to their hotel to chat for a while, and then used their ladies’ room to freshen up my makeup and blowdry my hair. My mom was worried about me going home “so late” (10pm.) She kept asking me if I was really going home and I kept smiling and saying of course, thinking it was obvious I wasn’t primping for the subway ride. My aunt Vicki just laughed and said, “Of course she’s not going home. She’s young and single. She’s going out and she should!” I just smiled.
I met up with Don Quixote and we were sitting in this bar chatting and flirting away and I found myself having a really really good time. We’d been talking about what kind of music we liked when this song came on and I asked if he knew who it was. He said without hesitation, “Mumford & Sons.” I was really impressed because I wouldn’t necessarily expect a guy in his 20s to know who it was, let alone someone who’s 50. There. I said it. Judge away but it was one of the most fun dates I’ve had in years, and one of the hottest New York makeouts after outside of my building. (Again, sorry Mom.)

First Cut is the Deepest – Sheryl Crow
Fall 2003. The girls in 303 and 304 were absolutely obsessed with The Very Best of Sheryl Crow, mostly this song. We’d have it on repeat in the apartment or the car and sing at the top of our lungs. Over and over and over again. I miss those girls and those days of 303 ½.

Apologies – Grace Potter & The Nocturnals
Last winter I was sitting on the Eurostar at the station outside London. I was waiting for the train to depart to take me to Paris. My very first trip to Paris and my very first solo trip. At the exact moment the train pulled away the beginning piano keys played into my ears and it was this moment. I wish I could put it into words but it’s a moment I’ll never forget. It was like this moment of reason where I felt like a bona fide, independent, grown up. I was taking a trip to a foreign country all by myself. I was going and I didn't know a soul on the whole continent. In less than a week I’d come home to my own apartment for which I'd just signed the lease four months earlier, and I’d face a life of unemployment and bills that don’t stop and deal with it by myself. It sounds a little sad, and I actually did tear up, but it wasn’t a sad moment. It was like a step into a new phase of adulthood, taking a new step by myself, and also dealing with a new problem that most people face in adulthood.

Fall in New York

2011-11-11T10:13:00.002-05:00

I snapped this photo yesterday on my walk through the park to work. I have to admit, my Instagram app enhanced the colors a bit, however, an untouched photo from my phone didn't do nearly the justice.

I'm sure I'm so obnoxious always talking about the leaves and how much I'm dying over them, or really anything in this city that I talk about all the time. Although, I read over and over on blogs and facebook about how my friends are so lucky for their husbands, and so obsessed with their kids, so I guess I'll feel free to continue to talk about what I'm blessed with and can't get enough of. :)

The twenty or so minutes I spend in the morning walking through the park is potentially the best part of my day. Since it's the morning my mind is clear. Now that we've turned the clocks back the sun is so bright and shiny, and there's a million dogs out since it's off leash hours. They're all running around, so happy and socializing with each other. Take all that and add in the gorgeous surroundings, and my quick pace getting the endorphins pumping, and it just makes me really really happy.

Yesterday was the first day the leaves were really changing and just popping. I walked to work in awe and kept looking around, feeling like the moment was unreal. Leaves were slowly falling around me, like I was in a movie. I kept thanking my Heavenly Father for giving me such beautiful surroundings, and the good health to be able to experience it all. As I was walking and having these thoughts I became so overwhelmed with the knowledge that there truly is a loving God. I couldn't help but think of a friend of mine who's an atheist. We've had a lot of friendly conversations about it because I just can't wrap my mind around his beliefs. He's done a lot of research and studying and is solid in his beliefs, which I respect. However, I don't believe there is a thing in the world that could change what I know to be absolutely true, that there is a God, and He loves us so much. There is not a thing I know to be more true and I can't imagine a writing in the sky or witnessing some miracle could make me know any more than I do now that He does exist.

My Halloween

2011-11-01T12:40:00.002-05:00

One of many decked out brownstones on my street. Photos don't do justice. I think my block and the one in between me and Central Park are like those blocks with the amazing Christmas lights everyone goes to see, but for Halloween. Almost every brownstone is decked out like crazy. So fun.

I have to admit, when it comes to Halloween I'm sorta like, "eh." Every year it seems like it's just one more thing to add to the to-do list. Figuring out a costume is always a headache. As a single person it's assumed I'll go to a party. This means I'll be in a small apartment packed with a million people, so it's going to be really really hot. My first year I actually went to the annual regional Mormon singles Halloween dance that used to be where all the cool kids went dressed as a cat in a suit that was basically like a wetsuit and thought I was going to sweat to death. So you can either freeze your hiney off outside, or be uncomfortably hot all night. Then there's the footwear, it seems like most costumes require heels and I'm just not one of those girls that can stand around in heels all night. And then deciding on a costume. I'm not one to dress slutty for Halloween, nor am I creative enough to put together a cute costume myself. Almost everything you can buy is too skimpy for me. Not to mention, there is always the little bit of pressure to not look stupid... So needless to say, it usually just feels like a headache and I'd rather not deal with it.

Saturday came and I still didn't really have a costume figured out. Luckily, I was looking for something under my bed when I came across the outfit I'd worn for NYE in London when Karen and I dressed up as marionette puppets for the circus themed party. Score! I'd totally forgotten I'd planned on recycling it for this year's Halloween costume.

However, Saturday's weather was atrocious. Snow/rain/sleet/wind all day long. It was hideous. I finally made a decision I just wasn't going out. I had zero desire to schlep through the elements up to Harlem to the party where everyone would be, to stand around in a jam packed apartment and socialize (not really my thing, Halloween or not.)

I ended up over and Aimee and Jerry's for dinner and cards and had no regrets. I think one huge perk to marriage is no one judges you for being a home body. If you stay in on a weekend as a single person so many people think it's sad, lame, etc, but if you're married? No big deal. I'm looking forward to that day.

I finally left Aim and Jer's around midnight only to run into a former coworker outside their building. He'd been there at a party, and another of my former coworkers was on his way out with his wife, who I'm also friends with. They came out and we all chatted up a storm, so happy to randomly run into each other. They told me I was going downtown with them to the next party, no excuses. Being that it was midnight, I was five blocks from home, wasn't in a costume, and am generally not that spontaneous of a person I protested, but I must have been in a good mood because it didn't take much convincing.

I'm so glad I went. We ended up at one of those apartments that's ridiculously amazing. Everyone was really decked out in costumes so it was a little awkward that I wasn't, but it was one of those moments when I can choose to feel awkward, or choose to get over it and have fun. I chose the latter. The guy throwing the party had hired a doorman, bar tender, and dj. The dj was great and we danced the whole time. I have played 5th wheel before with this married couple at a wedding and they're so easy and fun to be around. There was another girl with our group as well, so I really was fifth wheeling it, but she was so great and friendly and I didn't feel like the loner without a date at all. We had a great time and I got home around 2:30am so all guilt of being an old lady and no fun was banished.

Yesterday we found out we could leave work early, as a lot of people were so they could trick-or-treat with their kids. I was thrilled at this unexpected news. I had no plans for the holiday but it's always nice to get out early. I go to kickboxing Monday nights but it's not until 7:30 and I didn't want to stick around midtown so I just went to the gym and then over to Aimee's. Jerry was working late so Aimee made us chili and we handed out candy to trick-or-treaters. I really haven't ever done this, as I've always either been trick-or-treating myself when I was young enough, or out doing something with friends when I was old enough. After last night I'm pretty sure from now on I'll be staying in to hand out candy. These little kids were so adorable! I wanted to squeeze every one.

And now here it is, November. How did that happen? This weekend I'm cheering on Em and other friends at the marathon, the following weekend throwing Britt's shower, the following weekend may have visitors in town, the following week my family comes for Thanksgiving, the following week I'm out of town for a long weekend, the following week may have visitors in town, and then it's basically two weeks to Christmas, and then it's Britt and Logan's wedding, and then it's New Year's! 2011 will be over before we know it!

PS Don't be surprised if Halloween 2012 you see me dressed up as a marionette puppet...

Exciting things coming up

2011-10-26T16:10:00.003-05:00

My parents, Brad, Nadia, Madeline, and Spencer are coming to New York for Thanksgiving!

Jason, Elise, Hudson, and BABY (I'm guessing girl) are coming out the week before Thanksgiving! And baby will be here in April! Wahooooooooo!!!

Now if I could just get the rest to come out. :) At least I'll see them in December.

PS I stole all these photos from their own blogs. Thanks guys. :)

A question I'm frequently asked

2011-10-21T09:53:00.002-05:00

"Do you ever miss having a car?" No, I don't. I took this photo one day last week on my walk to work. I've said it before but I have the world's best commute. I get to walk. Through Central Park. There honestly isn't a better way to get to work. I get to work happy every morning. Every day I'm reminded how thankful I am for my legs that let me walk and get the endorphins pumping, and my eyes that take in such beauty.
I think about how this is how I get to work, and how I used to sit, filled with rage, in a parking lot on the 405 every morning. No. I do not miss having a car. Not one bit.

Yes

2011-10-06T16:35:00.001-05:00

I will continue with the story soon. How did two months fly by? Where is my life going? In all honesty, aside from being busy, I’ve been really intimidated to write this next section. I don’t think putting it in words will do justice to explain what happened and how difficult it was for me to process. And I realize when people write words like that, it’s because something actually legitimately tragic happened, verses what my situation was, which was hard, but not quite as dramatic as I’m making it sound here. I’ve struggled with finding the words that exactly explain my thoughts, and also protect the privacy of others. Additionally, I feel like unless you know me really well, and have known me for a large portion of my time in New York, you won’t understand why the next part of the story is as significant as it really is. I’ve had some people comment who I don’t know personally and I think, “This is a whole lot of leadup and they’re not going to get it.” I feel like there’s expectations that I’m not going to meet. Actually, I think it will be sorely disappointing because I’ve realized because I’ve written so openly and honestly about how I’ve felt, it’s sort of been a big lead up to what some might expect to be a big dramatic event. And it’s really not.

And then I think…I started writing this because I wanted to write it all a year ago but it was just too dang fresh and too much and I just didn’t have it in me and didn’t know how much I wanted to share with the www at the time. I finally felt comfortable enough to write it, and still felt the need to put all my thoughts and experiences down, so I did, for me. Obviously blogging is not one hundred percent for me because otherwise I’d be putting this all in a private journal. But this is mostly for me, and the comments make it a little more fun :) and also encourage me to write more frequently than I would in a private journal.

So….I apologize for seemingly quitting. I didn’t, I just didn’t know how to get it all out into words. And you know what? I don’t even know where the story is going. I was talking to one of my best friends who really pretty much knows all the details and she said, “I’m so interested to see where this is going to go.” And I said, “I am too!” And laughed, because there’s not exactly and end.

So. I guess we’ll see. I promise more soon.

I know what you mean Amy

2011-10-02T17:27:00.002-05:00

Just a wee 23 year old at Coney Island May 2007

Moving to New York and trying to get a show - oh my (gosh), we were naive. But the great thing about taking big chances when you're younger is you have less to lose, and you don't know as much. So you take big swings.

-Amy Poehler

Do we look alike?

2011-09-26T10:02:00.003-05:00

This photo with Mel and Felicia from my ten year high school reunion was posted on facebook this weekend.

My mom forwarded this picture from her ten year high school reunion to us last week. I guess it's hard to tell because the photo's kind of small, but Brad's response was, "Scary how much Rachel looks like you." I've been told this my whole life but I just can't see it. I see similarities, but I wouldn't say it's uncanny. I've finally started to see how similar my sister and I look, and when I was little I confused childhood pictures of my mom to be myself.
What do you think? In my opinion, the crazy part is my mom had recently had her fourth baby (me!) and is still looking smokin. (She is the foxy lady standing top right. If you click the photo it will get a little bigger.)

The week for celeb sightings I guess

2011-09-15T08:46:00.002-05:00

Last night I saw Celine Dion walking out of the Ritz on Central Park South. It was a relatively small crowd waiting to see her, but the security was ridiculous, and understandably so. When she walked out everyone pretty much rushed her.

The crowd was, however, really really strange. Usually the kind of people waiting around for a celeb are girls, tourists, and gay. This crowd was 95% men, and the kind you'd expect to stand in line to meet a line backer for the Steelers or something. It was bazaar. And there was one guy who seemed like he was homeless or crazy or both, but he had his poster of Celine, waiting to get an autograph. He started talking to me and saying, "Take steak." I was like, "Ummm, what?" And he kept saying it and finally this other dude was like, "He wants to take you out for steak." Oh. One of the hotel staff saw this guy and was like, "What are you doing here??" And looked like he was ready to escort him away, like he's always there hounding celebs or Celine has a restraining order against him or something.

This other random dude missing teeth rolled up on a little girl's bike, wearing nothing but the tiniest jorts I've ever seen and a pair of sneakers, and a weird hat. I swear I thought I saw something peeking out of those jorts. It was so weird! I didn't have my phone on me so I couldn't even take pictures.

I saw Celine for a minute. She seemed nice despite the freaks crowding her. I booked it out of there. It was seriously weird ya'll...

Clearly I've joined Pinterest...

2011-09-14T13:03:00.002-05:00

I once watched an episode of Oprah where they discussed the effects on girls hearing their mothers speak negatively about themselves. Obviously research like this is variable, but I thought there was really something to it. I mentally committed to myself that I will try my hardest to not criticize myself verbally (in general) and especially in front of my daughters.
Additionally, I once discussed something similar to this (years before I saw the show) with someone. We sort of came to the conclusion that the women who seemed to be genuinely content and happy in life, with good confidence, tended to have children who were that way as well. I know this is not the case with every family out there, but it seemed to be pretty accurate with everyone I thought about. And yes, I realize I don't know how happy or unhappy people actually are, but I think you can generally tell if a person feels good about themselves or not. Just gave me even more motivation to not only be happy for myself and my husband, but for my children as well. (When I have them someday.)

Well hello Greg Kinnear

2011-09-14T12:44:00.003-05:00

For some reason blogger wouldn't let me upload my editing instagram version of this pic, so here I am in all my post - gym, new zit, nastiness. Greg was very sweet, handsome, and looked younger in person. New crush.

Something I have to tell all boyfriends

2011-09-14T12:37:00.002-05:00

I think I'm the most ticklish person in the world. People have gotten mad at me for shreiking so loudly and kicking, yet they're they ones tickling me. Makes no sense. Curtis once tickled me to the point that I completely burst into hysterical sobs. He stopped and looked at me like I just grew a second head. It actually sort of surprised me as well. But freak......stop tickling me! I can't take it.

September 11, 2001

2011-09-11T18:53:00.002-05:00

The Freedom Tower, September 11, 2011 around 2am

Today is a day marked in history. It started off at 8:30am when my mom called and said she had to tell me something. First she said, "Rebecca's okay." So I thought she'd been in a car accident. She then went on to tell me that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I assumed Rebecca was on the flight but then she told me she wasn't. She then went on to tell me that there were all these terrorism acts going on. Four planes had been hijacked. All were American or United Airlines. One crashed into the *west building of the World Trade Center, one the east building, one in some woods in Pittsburgh, and one in the Pentagon in Washington D.C. It's horrible. One flight was from Boston and was headed to LAX and my mom thought if I heard I would be really worried, which is true. I'm so glad she called me. Rebecca had flown to Austin, Texas last night.

I called all my family to let them know I loved them and when I talked to her she was really upset because she was sure she'd know some of the crew. I was nervous for my family because on the radio they said they expected more things to happen. It makes me grateful I'm in Rexburg. Usually terrorists will hit big cities like New York, Chicago, LA; no one's heard of Rexburg, so I think I'm safe! I'm worried for my family. Also, my dad was on a plane at Orange County headed to Ohio, but thank goodness he hadn't left the gate when they heard and evacuated the plane. I wonder when Jason will find out? Rebecca was worried since he's on a mission and we can't call so hopefully he won't worry when he finds out.

When I was listening to the radio today they went live with someone in Jerusalem and I could hear them all chanting, "God is great." They were all celebrating. It makes me sick. They also went live with someone in New York and I could hear sirens and people screaming in the background. It was so eerie.

I've cried a few times today because it makes me sick to think my dad or my sister could have been on one of those flights. I can't imagine the terror they must have felt. I can't imagine if I was a mom and had little kids on the flight. I think I would pray for forgiveness and to die quickly after we crashed.

It was all over campus today. They talked about it at devotional, and we had a special ward prayer tonight and the Bishop spoke to us. I can't imagine how many people are affected because of this. Hundreds, maybe thousands of people were injured or killed, and to think about how many people would be devastated over one person. I can't imagine having someone from my family killed and then having to stay here in Rexburg, not able to get home to my family. Or what if my whole family had been killed? I don't know what I'd do.

It was awesome to hear all the missionaries in New York were accounted for and okay. Twenty one left from the MTC this morning, headed for New York, but landed in Denver, Colorado.

My English teacher's daughter lives two blocks from the World Trade Center. She was okay, but this morning her roommate left for an audition in the WTC, got down out of the elevator, and turned around and went back and said, "I don't think I'll go today." That's so amazing.

On the news they were comparing it to Pearl Harbor, but saying at least with that they knew who they were fighting. I guess some leader from Jerusalem made a threat against the US three weeks ago so he's a suspect. George W. Bush has every intention to "...hunt down and punish..." the terrorists. They said it's the worst attack of terrorism in the US history. And it's also the first time they closed down all air traffic in the US. Tomorrow is USA Pride Day, I'm wearing red, white, and blue.

It's a sad day.

*I clearly didn't have some of the details accurate, as the Twin Towers were the North and South, not east and west.

I can remember so clearly my mom calling and my roommate waking me up to tell me she was on the phone. I remember her telling me what had happened, but I was groggy, and naive in the ways of the world at the age of 18. I didn't realize the seriousness of what had happened and went back to sleep. After I woke up for the day I started listening to the radio (we didn't have tv in the dorm) and I realized this was a big deal. I called my mom back to ask her to tell me again what had happened. Looking back, I realize it still only sunk in so much. I should have noted in my journal entry above that Jason was allowed to call my mom from Mexico to find out my sister was indeed okay.

Even though I've lived in New York for almost five years, I will never understand what it was like to be here. I've talked to so many coworkers who were here on that day and have heard their stories. I wish I could wrap my head around it more, to really know what it was like.

Last night I found myself out in the city with a friend who was in from out of town and wanted to go out. We ended up in a bar in Times Square, filled with cops and firemen. Sometime shortly after midnight someone made a speech in the jam packed bar and then Lee Greenwood's Proud to be an American was played and everyone sang along and toasted to those who'd lost their lives trying to protect us. It was a powerful moment.

Sometime after 1am we headed down to the financial district, as my friend wanted to see if we could get close to the World Trade Center. There was a huge memorial service planned for the day so I didn't anticipate being able to get close, however, there was no issue at all. As usual it was pretty quiet in that neighborhood, but there were people at World Trade, there to pay respects and see what was to be seen, like us. I snapped the above photo of the Freedom Tower. I can't wait to see when it will be finished. Tomorrow the memorial opens to the public, so I'm looking forward to seeing that as well.

Today I am even more grateful to live in a land of freedom. I'm grateful there are so many willing to risk their lives for that freedom. I'm so thankful to feel so safe living in New York by myself as a single female. There are always so many police men out, protecting my safety.

So thankful I could be here in my favorite city in the world on this tenth anniversary of 9/11.

How is this possible?

2011-08-31T13:02:00.004-05:00

This is the most cliche, but how is my squishy little babe...

already this grown up little preschooler? I can't handle it. I wanted to die when Nadia sent pictures of Madeline's first day yesterday. I feel like all my nieces and nephews are growing up so fast but this one especially. I swear she looks twelve. Make it stop. But don't. Because I love every little phase of her.

Thank goodness I have this little man to get my squishy babe fix.

Even better

2011-08-25T16:13:00.000-05:00

I get to squeeze Mad and Spenc all weekend!

Enemy territory

2011-08-25T16:07:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow night I'm going to Fenway for the first time ever. Despite my loyalties, as a baseball fan I am so excited, especially to be going with my favorite Sox fan. It's an akward feeling because they're playing the As, who I don't care about. Who do I root for? I'm afraid I'll get distracted and accidently start clapping along with the crowd for the Sox. It's hard to sit indifferently at a baseball game.

Britt & Log

2011-08-24T11:54:00.004-05:00

Brittany and Logan, moments after he popped the question.

I could not be more thrilled two of my favorite New York friends are tying the knot this December. Congrats Britt and Log!!

I like to jokingly take credit for their love, since I invited them to this game:

and this very first weekend in the Berkshires:

but the truth is they didn't start dating until almost a year after the Berkshires. Regardless, so happy to call these two my friends and so happy for them to spend eternity together!

Earthquake!

2011-08-24T10:38:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I was sitting at my desk when I thought I felt a little shaking. It took me a second to realize it wasn't my imagination. There was a little more and then I realized others were looking around wondering what it was. I stood up and could see the blinds shaking in an office. It felt like an earthquake but my immediate thought was, "No, this is New York." But it felt awfully similar to an earthquake...

Then one of our guys walked out on the phone and said, "That's a ****ing earthquake. They felt it in Jersey. We need to ****ing evacuate. They guy I was on the phone with in Jersey's building alarms were going off."

This is the point where people remained calm on the outside, but were clearly panicing on the inside. I had the thought to grab my phone but left my handbag behind. You really just don't think in these situations. I can't tell you how many times at my last job we had fire drills and had to leave the building, but I believe this is the first time it was for anything real.

As my colleagues and I walked the twenty six flights to the ground all I could think about was 9/11, and the people who were going down flight after flight after flight. I'd only gone about ten flights before my eyes started playing tricks on me and I was really losing my depth perception. I kept worrying I was going to trip down the stairs.

I also couldn't help but think about potential terrorist attacks. At the time I wasn't even thinking about the tenth anniversary of 9/11, but when you're in New York and something suspicious happens, the first thought you have is "terrorist."

We got outside and walked over to Central Park to get away from the buildings. Everyone was on the street, nervous because we still didn't know what was going on. I was able to make one call before I lost service, and then occasionally I'd get a text but couldn't send anything out. We finally heard the epicenter was in Virginia and it was a 5.8. I realized it wasn't that large on the scale, and have definitely felt stronger earthquakes and haven't been as nervous, but when you're in New York, and you're so high up, it's scary.

Nothing is sweeter

2011-08-18T15:37:00.002-05:00

Hudson, 11 months

The thoughts of being a mom someday are intimidating to me. Really intimidating. But when I see the sweet faces of my nieces and nephews I think maybe someday I could do it.

I miss this.

2011-08-17T16:50:00.001-05:00

2011-08-16T14:46:00.004-05:00

Kathryn and me at the Bees game, watching her boyfriend Andrew Romine.

You cannot let your circumstances change you, you are the one who can change your circumstances. No one and nothing is holding you back but you. You are the reason you are where you are now, and only you have the power to take yourself to where you want to go. You make the decision, you are in control, every action, every choice, every moment depends on you.
Without the acknowledgement of your sole control over your success, you will always find a way to play victim. Change your mind, change your future. You WILL achieve the goals you have set, you just have to decide to make the full commitment to the success of your dreams.

-Kathryn Gosztyla

A Story: Part II

2011-08-15T16:57:00.002-05:00

It was gorgeous Sunday afternoon and I was sitting in the car with my mom as we were driving home from picking up my niece and nephew. We were chatting away when my phone started buzzing. Court was calling. Strange. Mostly because when I go out of town it’s like my New York life sort of stops, and I don’t really hear from my friends other than an occasional text here and there.

I picked up:

R: Hey Court, what’s up?
C: Oh nothing, what are you doing?
R: I’m just driving home with my mom. We just picked up my niece and nephew to spend the night. You?
C: I just got down to your apartment. A bunch of us are over here hanging out and we’re going to play games.
R: Oh that sounds fun. So what’s up?

At this point I’m thinking it’s random she’s calling, especially when she’s with a group of people and obviously stepped away to make this call.

C: Wellllll, do you want to just call me back when you get home?
R: No it’s cool, I can talk. Is everything okay?
C: Hesitation….Yeeeeeah……yeah, everything’s fine, just call me when you get home okay?
R: Oooookay……no problem, talk to you soon.

I hung up and my mom asked what that was about. I explained the conversation and then just sorta thought, huh, weird. And then immediately I thought aloud, “Curtis is engaged.” I can’t remember my mom’s response but then I continued thinking aloud, “That has to be it. I can’t imagine any other reason she’d call unless it was an actual emergency, and if that were the case she would have sounded more urgent.” I remember my mom asking me how I’d feel about that. I wouldn’t feel great, but it wouldn’t devastate me. We’d had real, final closure back in March, and although really weren’t speaking, were otherwise on good terms. I knew he was dating someone then, and when we’d talked about her I told him then he’d marry her. He laughed and said they weren’t even serious, but I just knew. For over two years I knew him better than he knew himself. I knew he was in a really good place in life and was ready, and I could just tell. We’d texted earlier in the summer and he’d told me he was in love. For some reason that hurt a lot more than news of the engagement. Even though I knew it all was coming, that hurt the most.

I got home and went upstairs to my bedroom to call Courtnie back so I could get the news in private. Sure enough, according to facebook he’d popped the question. All my best friends happened to be in the same apartment when someone mentioned having seen it, and then they discussed whether they should call me or not. They knew I wouldn’t know already because I’d deleted him months before. She didn’t want to be the bearer of the news, but also didn’t want me to find out from someone else who maybe wouldn’t be as sensitive. We talked for a couple minutes, and I was surprised when I felt myself tearing up. I quickly thanked her, said goodbye, and threw on my running shoes.

I headed to RSM lake and pretended I was at the Reservoir, my real place of therapy. It wasn’t the same, but it would have to do. I would be lying if I didn’t say I felt partially relieved. I knew this day was coming and now it was over with. It was such a weird mixture of emotions.

When I got back to the car I was reminded how grateful I was that my friend had called, as I already had a nonchalant text about the news. My mom had also called telling me to meet them at Golden Spoon. It was a nice follow up to my run, and even nicer was the text waiting for me from Dave when I got back to my car. Nothing like a little pick me up.

I got home and showered and into comfy clothes for the night. I was ready to watch Mad Men when my dad came downstairs and started to discuss some things with my mom that were happening with my grandma’s health. He was exhausted and the conversation turned tense. I was so not in the mood. I decided to go for a drive, and impulsively text Dave and see if I could come over. Yes, I was looking for some TLC. I was fully aware of the state of my appearance; yoga pants again, tshirt, flip flops, wet hair in a bun, no makeup other than powder, and glasses. I figured he’d seen me dolled up Saturday night, and hit on me when I didn’t look much better on Friday, so what the hell? Was it a little reckless to just go to his house alone? Yes, I’ll admit it. But at some point you have to make the decision to trust someone, and I chose this point.

When I walked in I was immediately impressed. This was a man’s home. A three bedroom condo. A dog. Real furniture. Appliances. Decoration. Such a change from the guys I typically spend my time with who have been known to be sharing a bedroom and sometimes even sleeping in a bunk bed dorm style. I wish I were joking. I was instantly more attracted.

I sunk into the couch and we talked and talked about everything and nothing. He was charming. I was spunky and made him laugh. He was up front about really enjoying time with me. It was one of those scenarios where you felt like you’d known someone a month when in reality it’d only been a few days. I finally said something along the lines of, “I don’t think you really like me. I think you’re amused by me.” He responded with, “Why, because I’m not jumping on you right now? Because I didn’t kiss you last night? Because, don’t get me wrong, I wanted to kiss you.” Without hesitation I responded, “I wanted you to kiss me.” He then told me he could tell my guard was up when I came into his home and that even though I’d relaxed, I just wanted to talk, and that was fine. All I wanted him to do was kiss me.

We talked some more, and at some point he said, “So you don’t drink, what else don’t you do?” I said, “I don’t have sex.” “Okay.” “And I don’t do other things.” “Okay.” We’ll see how long this lasts.

Around 1am my mom texted me asking me to come home. I had to laugh as I asked a 41 year old man if he felt incredibly juvenile, having to say goodnight because my mom wanted me home. He was sweet about it and did nothing but make me feel more comfortable. He walked me out and confidently leaned in and kissed me goodnight. I can’t remember the last time (if ever) a guy just kissed me, just like that, without having to have the safety of watching a movie in the dark and cuddling, or being half way asleep, to work up the courage. This guy cut all the crap, gave me a hug, and then went straight in for the kiss. It. Was. Amazing. Being 5’11” it’s not common I feel petite. Even though I’m okay with my height, it doesn’t mean I don’t frequently feel awkward with men. I find it nearly impossible if I’m with a man who’s short, or my height, or maybe a little taller (when I’m lucky) and not too skinny, to not feel “big.” And feeling big does not feel feminine or sexy. So to be embraced by this dark Ecuadorian man, who quite honestly is only an inch or two taller, but so built, was heaven. He had 100 pounds on me. I’d even blurted out as we were sitting on the couch, “You have the hugest chest,” because the guy is just big, without appearing like a body builder. To this day I’ve never been as physically attracted to someone. Needless to say, it was steamy, and I couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off my face the whole drive home.

The next day he had an overnight layover trip so we didn’t see each other, but it didn’t stop the texting all day. I don’t remember what I did that day or night, but I do remember what I was doing when the next, far more devastating phone call came Tuesday morning.

Vacation by Instagram

2011-08-11T14:47:00.009-05:00

Vacation was so much fun, but so exhausting. I can't imagine how I would have really changed anything though. There's never enough time. Here's how it all went down.

Friday:
Airport was a zoooooo. I've flown on Christmas Eve and haven't seen it this bad. Was happy I'd gotten there extra early and didn't need to stress. Happy as a clam as we're set to take off on time and the captain announces we're first for takeoff. And then, the rain and lightning storm hits. We sit on the ground for 2 1/2 hours. Before a 4 hour flight. Awesome. Luckily we finally took off and made up good time, only arriving an hour late. When we landed I was so tired I could hardly see straight so it was straight to bed.

Saturday:
Brunch at The Wild Grape with Lance and Melissa.

Shooting with E. So so fun. I shot a 22 rifle, 22 pistol, and a 9 mm. When it comes to guns I'm a total girl so I don't even know if I wrote that right. Even though I don't consciously feel nervous, I get so tense and Ethan had to keep reminding me to relax and breath. I had so much fun and felt like Jack Bauer. The craziest part was when we walked into the range and some guy shot a sniper gun. It was so loud and literally physically brushed me back. I've never experienced that before.

I posed like this and then Ethan said, "Is that your tough face?" So I took another, smiling, and looked totally stupid.

After shooting we met up with Alex for Cafe Rio and the Demolition Derby in Heber. I've never been to a derby before. I expected it to be fun but I enjoyed it even more than I anticipated. I'd picked this purple truck below as a winner for a round. It was super exciting when he hit this other truck and flipped it over. At another point he hit a truck and completely took the bed off. Pretty sweet. I was feeling very tough after my day of shooting and enjoying the derby.

Sunday:
Brunch with E, relaxing at Grandma's, and then tons and tons of cousins, aunts, and uncles over for dinner to celebrate Grandma's birthday. Was really wishing Shellie and Tri could have made it. We need a cousin reunion.

Monday:
Drove up to Boise. Everyone kept telling me I was driving so much in such a short amount of time, but I love it. I don't drive in the city and it's absolutely wonderful to get in a car, have an open road, and blast the radio. Last year on this vacation I drove from Orange County to Salt Lake on a Friday, up to Rexburg on Sunday, back to Salt Lake on Monday, and back to California on Tuesday. I loved every minute of it other than the bad traffic I hit in Vegas.

I got to Shantay's and we hung out for a bit and then met up with Brittney for dinner followed by dessert. We had such great girl talked and laughed so hard at one point that Shantay spit her water out.

Tuesday:
I drove to Rexburg and went straight to Chelse's. Man I love that girl. I wish so badly we could live by each other. She humored me and had lunch with me at Gringo's, my all time favorite Mexican restaurant. Shantay and I had "Tuesdays at 2" lunch dates forever in college and most of those were spent here. Chelse and I had some great girl talk and caught up. It's so hard to stay up to date in the lives of my married friends who live in a different time zone so these meals are so fun.

On my way to my grandparents' I drove through The Ridge parking lot and stopped for a minute to look at my old building. I lived in 303 for four months and 304 for from September 2003 until July 2006, only going home January-August 2004. I love love loved that place and made some of my best friends there.

Got to Grandma & Grandpa's and started helping with the raspberry picking. I picked about two buckets worth.

Idaho has the best sunsets I've ever seen. View from the back porch.

The White House.

After Grandma and Grandpa had gone to bed, I went over to Chelse and Ryley's. We sat around talking about the good ol' days and reminisced about the first time I visited Rexburg after I'd graduated and we went skinny dipping in Rigby Lake with Aimee and some unnamed boys. We then decided maybe we hadn't quite turned into old ladies yet....

Ready for a little mischief...

There are few things that will make you giggle harder than being in almost a pitch black night at 2am, standing on a dock naked, holding hands with one of your best friends, working up the courage to jump into the freezing lake. It took us a few minutes of standing their laughing but we finally did it.

Wednesday morning I drove back to Salt Lake and saw this as I was headed out of town. So so true. Chelse and Ryley were headed to Bear Lake so Chels drove with me as far as Pocatello. You know you are real friends when you're giggling like little girls one minute, and then six hours later driving in a car together talking about serious grown up stuff and trials in life.

After I got to Salt Lake I met up with Maria for lunch at The Robin's Nest. It was so yummy and even better to see my Maria. Sad we didn't take a photo.

Next I was off to SLC airport where I was able to meet up with Steph who was flying to NYC for the weekend.

I arrived in Orange County and my mom picked me up and we went straight to dinner at my high school hang out, Rubino's. I couldn't have been more thrilled to see the Yankees game on their tvs. My mom and I ended up chatting for about thirty minutes with lovely couple next to us, she was from New York and he was from Philly but they'd lived in California for thirty years. They were both still total east coasters.

Then I was off to my sweet Gina's new Irvine apartment. I'm sad we didn't take a photo but we were both not looking our best, to put it lightly. She always looks beautiful but I don't think either of us felt photo ready. We sat on the couch and talked and talked and talked and then had a sleep over and it was all lovely.

Thursday:
I was up early again to meet up for breakfast with Denise. More girl talk, and more hysterical laughter.

Next I rushed home to get my mom and we headed to Elise's to meet up with her and Hudson, and Rebecca, Ryan, Megan, and Jared for some pool time, cupcakes, and relaxing.

Hudson's tooties while he napped.

Friday:
A little leisurely shopping and Golden Spoon at the Spectrum with Jane followed by a much much needed nap at home.

Then I was off to Felicia's so we could head to our 10 year high school reunion together. The committee did a really great job planning and choosing a location. The golf club at Coto was really nice. It was great to see people I haven't seen in so many years. I felt like it was really hard to actually catch up with people though. I'd see someone and get through the initial surprise and "How are you??!" and then suddenly there was someone else. It was like stimulation overload.

Saturday:
Got up early to go for a ride with my dad. Brace and Karen came along, as well as Mark and Carley. We drove along Ortega Highway through the canyon and it was so pretty. We ate at a really yummy biker breakfast spot called Hell's Kitchen and had a ton of laughs. I didn't want the ride to end.

After we got home my sister and the kids were at the house and we all went to the beach. I've said it before but I really can't believe how much I prefer New York beaches. It is SO nice to just hop on the train and then you're at a nice clean beach where the water is warmer. I absolutely hate driving in traffic, waiting forever to find parking (I waited 20 minutes) and then schlepping down to a beach full of rocks, wood chips, and other debris, and an ocean full of rocks and seaweed. I know there's beaches that are a lot better than San Clemente but you still have to drive and find parking.

Rebecca left early to take Jared home and my parents, Ryan, Megan and I stayed until close to 6. It was so nice. We drove home and got pizza, put the kids to bed, and then I just packed, did some laundry, got one last Golden Spoon, and went to bed.

Sunday:

Got up so early, stopped for an asian donut and Diet Coke (breakfast of champs) and then my dad dropped me off at the airport. I was so happy to see I was able to get an exit row, and also happy I was flying out of Orange County since they sell the New York Post. I love my newspaper.

We took off with no delays, landed a half hour early, and I was in my apartment by 7pm! Such a nice change from the usual midnight landings when coming from the west coast. I was sooooo sleepy and luckily Courtnie came over and kept me company while I unpacked so I wouldn't fall asleep.

After I'd unpacked I found these eleven tootsie pops Lance had snuck into my bag. Sneaky sneaky!
It is good to be back in New York. We've had great weather this week, I've been busy, and now it's Friday and I'm exhausted. So happy to have a mellow weekend at home.

With beautiful Grandma on her 85th in NYC

2011-08-11T13:36:00.003-05:00

A Story: Part I

2011-08-10T15:13:00.003-05:00

Ever since I’ve lived in New York I’ve had a peculiar habit of always thinking back to what I was doing a year ago. I can remember my second summer thinking about how it felt like I should be dating Brandon. The only New York summer I knew was with him. My second New Year’s Eve I was super down because I was thinking about the year before; my first NYE in New York and my first NYE with a boyfriend. I couldn’t help but think about the hours Curtis and I had spent in Times Square and how perfect that night had felt.

This habit has gone on year after year. I think it’s something about the change in seasons. The change in temperature, scenery, and smells take me back to what was going on in my life the last time I experienced these things. There is obviously always a strong connection to whomever I was dating at the time, because other than apartments, everything else in my life was pretty much the same. Same job, mostly same friends, etc.

As my last vacation was approaching, along with August, this time last year weighed heavily on my mind. It was almost the exact same day I took off for a two week vacation, during which I’d spend time in California, Utah, and Idaho. I didn’t plan to take the same trip this year, and didn’t plan to leave almost exactly the same date (off by one day,) it just worked out that way. The only real difference is I was only gone for a week this year.

July 30, 2010 was such a happy day. It was a Friday. I left my office around 2pm so I’d have time to go home and finish packing, and then head to JFK to catch my flight. I remember leaving the office and calling my mom and saying, “I’m free!!!” There is nothing like leaving your office on a beautiful sunny summer day and knowing you don’t have a thing to think about for the next sixteen days. My only agenda was to visit friends and family, take part in Aimee and Jerry’s wedding, and spend a weekend in San Francisco with my girlfriends. I stopped by Banana on my way to Grand Central Station and found a few items on clearance.

I can distinctly remember walking through the terminal to the 4/5 and thinking, I feel so happy I could burst. Things were good. I’d spent the summer focusing on bettering myself. I’d been working out regularly and for the first time in years, wasn’t dating anyone, trying to date anyone, crushing on anyone, or letting anyone simmer. I was 100% single and can remember saying I’d never been happier single. I will be honest and say I have never been that girl who says, “I just want to enjoy being single right now. I don’t want a relationship.” To be honest I have a hard time believing any LDS girl who says that post-college. So, of course I would have liked to have been dating someone, but I felt like I had control over all the things that were in my control, and felt the happiest I’d ever been in that state.

I was flying American, connecting in Chicago. I spent the better part of the car ride and time in the airport on my phone making calls about the apartment I’d just found (in which I currently live.) I was returning calls with questions about my income, references, etc and I was racing against the clock to get the calls done before end of business day eastern time.

When I got to ORD I called my dad, as he was flying home from Boston, on United, which is random because he almost always flies American, but wasn’t, and I almost never fly American, but was. We were both connecting in Chicago, so it’s unfortunate we hadn’t been able to coordinate to fly together. We wanted to say hello at least while we were both in the same airport. We met up and chatted for a bit, and then I headed back to my gate where my flight was now boarding.

I was lucky to have a first class seat, so I boarded the plane and sat down and sort of just let out a huge sigh of relief. All my calls were made, I’d been able to connect with my dad, work was off my mind for two weeks, and now I could just relax. I got my things settled and then got up to use the ladies room while everyone else was still boarding. As I was headed back to my seat I didn’t notice the flight attendant behind me. I sat down and he was standing there, informing me I was going to have to go to my seat in the back of the plane. Thinking he must assume I was confused because the Yankees tank, yoga pants, Toms, and messy bun I was sporting didn’t exactly scream First Class, I assured him, “Oh, no, this is my ticketed seat.” He looked a little more stern and said, “Nooooo……you didn’t understand me. You need to go to the back of the plane, all the way to the back, and sit in a middle seat.” For whatever reason I have always had the immediate reaction to believe any sort of authority figure and immediately assume I’m guilty of something. I sort of stuttered something, and looked confused, and then he finally said something like, “They Yankees? Really?” I then relaxed and laughed, and said, “Oh, I take it you’re a Sox fan?” He scoffed. Then I remembered I was in Chicago. (I mean, anyone who roots for any other team hates the Yanks, but I figured this made the most sense.) He once again scoffed and said no. Confused (and not even thinking about my destination of Orange County) I finally asked, “Who’s your team??” He then told me the Angels and I said, “Oh, well you’ll hate me even more because I should be an Angels fan; I’m from Mission Viejo.”

This turned into the talk of where we’re from, where we went to high school, etc. It turned out he lived in Las Flores and graduated from Mission Viejo High School. I could tell he was a tad bit older than me, so I didn’t ask what year. He told me he’d played water polo there, as well as at Long Beach State, and asked if I’d played sports. I confidently said, “Well, I was a cheerleader, so, yes.” I got the expected reaction and we continued the trash talk until he needed to get back to work.

I didn’t think anything of it. I also didn’t think anything of it when I used the ladies’ room again mid flight (those bottomless drinks in first are lovely) and he stopped me to ask me about what I do in New York, what I do for fun, where I’ve traveled to, and just made general conversation. I also took no note when he stopped to make a comment every time he served me something to eat or refilled my drink. He later told me he’d had a Yankees executive on one of his flights who’d offered him tickets the next time he was in New York. I told him he was so lucky and he should definitely take him up on the offer. He then told me the next time he was out he planned on it, and I should go with him. I still wasn’t thinking anything other than, Wow, I’d love tickets to a Yankees game.

He asked me if I was busy while I was home (I’d explained to him that I was home for a week, then heading to Utah, then Idaho, then back home, then to San Francisco.) I said yes, but no, and explained that every time I came home I always planned every second away and didn’t relax, so I wasn’t making any plans and was just trying to take things as they came and was spending time with my family. It wasn’t until he said, “Well…..that’s not exactly the answer I was hoping for,” that I thought, Is this guy hitting on me? I laughed and told him sorry, but that I had promised my mom I would take it easy for the most part.

Before I got off the plane we exchanged phone numbers, you know, for the Yankees game, and I was on my way. I remember glancing back at him before I stepped off the plane and finally realizing, Wow, he is handsome. And tall. And dark. And seems pretty straight. (Keep in mind his profession.) That night we texted a bit and he was very friendly and sweet, and told me to let him know if I had any time for him while I was home.

I can’t remember what I did the next day but that night I went with my parents to a very crowded wedding reception for a guy in the ward I grew up in. He comes from one of those huge families that’s been around forever, and knows everyone, so of course the reception was a zoo and everyone from the tri-stake area and then some was there. I caught up with so many friends who are now married and living in the area, and all the grown-ups I’d gotten to know in my youth. I got the same questions and comments I always get when I’m at home, especially at weddings: Are you still living in New York? Wow! You are so lucky/brave/adventurous/crazy! Are you dating anyone? I can’t believe you’re not married! or even better Why aren’t you married yet?? There is such an awesome guy out there for you, I just know it! The men are intimidated! To be fair, I have not gotten the question or statement about being married in a really long time, and at this point I just laugh when I get it. But, for the record, that whole “the men are intimidated line” should really be banished for anyone over the age of, oh, I don’t know, 19? We single girls appreciate the gesture, but, let’s get real, there are plenty of absolutely beautiful, successful, talented girls who date all the time or are already married. Face it, it’s not that all the guys are intimidated, it’s just the situation. Some of us are simply just “still” single.

Anyway, for the most part, I really don’t care about those questions, but it never gets fully comfortable to go to weddings with your parents as your date, in your late 20s, congratulating what looks like a child bride (no offense…) and then just sorta hanging with Mom and Dad when things get awkward. (I have tried to make a point to leave before the bouquet toss, you would not believe how people insist I stand awkwardly amongst a group of beehives, fighting over a bouquet.) I appreciate and love my parents, especially when my mom shares my dad so I can have someone to dance with, but I still always leave weddings feeling a little down.

My parents and I had talked about going to see Inception after the reception, but as parents sometimes do on Saturday nights, they got tired, and didn’t feel like going. So there I am, twiddling my thumbs on a Saturday night, feeling like a loner after having been reminded how Single! I am. So, I did what anyone else would do and texted the guy who’d hit on me the day before. “Hey! I’m sure you’re probably out and about tonight?” Nope, he was just at home watching a movie, and asked if I was free. Perfect. He asked if I drank wine (we’d discussed the Mormon thing on the plane) and I said no but am happy to go somewhere and have something else to drink, and didn’t feel uncomfortable with others who drank. (A concept that really confuses me but people always ask if I mind if they order a glass….polite, but unnecessary.) He said no, we’d go somewhere else. I offered the idea of Golden Spoon. Ya know, keep it light. He asked if I wanted to meet at his house or at GS. I may be a little adventurous but I’m not stupid. I told him I’d meet him at GS in thirty minutes, gave my mom his full name and number, and off I went.

I got to the creepy darkish parking lot a little after 10 and reminded myself why I love living in a city that stays open past 10pm on a Saturday, and called him to let him know it was closed and asked if we could meet somewhere else. (I’d beat him there.) He said he’d be there in just a couple minutes and to just wait. Like a good paranoid girl, I stayed in my car, not even getting out when he pulled up. He came over to the car, and I told him the Golden Spoon in Foothill Ranch was open until 11. We ended up deciding to go to another yogurt place in the Kaleidescope, which was close by. He asked if I wanted to ride with him and I smiled and said no, that I would follow. He then said, “Oh yeah, this is our first date huh?” I smiled again and said, “A girl’s gotta watch out for herself.”

Off we went for what was one of the best first dates I’ve ever had in my life. It turned out he’s fourteen years my senior, which was surprising and I didn’t believe until he showed me his driver’s license. I would have guessed ten. This only attracted me more than I already was, as even though the biggest gap in age I’d ever had was only six years, I’ve always been attracted to and felt much more confident and comfortable around older men.

We chatted away until the shop closed, and then moved outside to listen to the live band and keep chatting. I felt so comfortable by the end, I was sort of hoping he’d kiss me goodnight. I don’t think I’ve ever had an official “I don’t really know you” sort of a first date that ended well enough to warrant a kiss. However, he was a perfect gentlemen and just gave me a hug and asked me to text him when I got home safely. He even called while I was on the drive to thank me for meeting him, and tell me how much he enjoyed the evening. I was seriously swooning.

The next day is when I got the first phone call that was like someone pulling the rug out from underneath me.

Vacation's over

2011-08-08T14:20:00.002-05:00

Ryan, 7

Megan, 4 1/2

A week packed full of traveling from city to city (eight beds in as many nights) seeing friends, little sleep, and hanging with family. I'm exhausted but it was totally worth it. More soon.

SJP on NYC

2011-08-08T11:52:00.004-05:00

The beautiful thing about New York is, you have to expose yourself to other people the minute you step outside the door. There is no choice. And I love that.
-Sarah Jessica Parker

My evening with Mitt

2011-07-29T14:27:00.004-05:00

I realized I never blogged about this and if I don't do it now it probably won't happen. Below is the email I sent my family...

What a fun event. It was held on the 80th floor penthouse in the residence side of the Mandarin Oriental hotel. For those of you familiar, it's located in Columbus Circle, that little area right on the south west corner of Central Park. There's the huge round-about and it's 9 blocks south of where I live. There's two really tall buildings that look exactly alike. We were at the top floor of the north building.

I don't think in all my life I'll be in a more expensive apartment. It was incredible. I tried to find details online but couldn't find anything I knew for sure was specific to this apartment. I read somewhere an apartment like it in the building recently sold for $30,000,000 and the square footage is 12,500.

To say it was incredible would be an understantment. I didn't have time to see the whole place but saw the kitchen which I would say is about 2-3 times the size of Mom and Dad's, if that gives you an idea. The place was basically all floor to cieling windows, and had a complete 360 view of Manhattan. I'm including a picture I took with my phone of the view of the park. I was standing in the living room where Mitt spoke. Oh yeah, the elevators opened up into the apartment also. That's something I've always thought was so cool when I'd see it on tv but I've never seen in real life.

There were about 75 people there and they were all very old-money, Republican types. Everyone was dressed so nicely, huge diamond rings, and tightly botoxed faces. The entrance fee was $2,500. When I went to work that day I was thinking I looked so cute but I think it was pretty clear I knew someone at the event to get in. (I didn't get invited until midday, otherwise I would have dressed nicer.)

The event lasted about an hour. Mitt spoke probably 20 minutes or so, and took questions for 10-15 minutes. It's crazy to see people in real life. Like most people I'm only used to seeing on tv, he was shorter than I expected, and looked older. That being said, he's still a handsome man.
It was neat to hear him speak when he knew he was in a group of Republicans and didn't have to try to be diplomatic. He didn't say anything new or groundbreaking, but he was funny and I found myself laughing out loud a handful of times.

I was lucky enough to be able to meet him and shake his hand. I was more nervous than I'd anticipated. I kept thinking I was going to accidently call him President Obama. Thankfully I just introduced myself and called him Mr. Governor and thanked him for what he was doing. And then we got our photo. It's not the best. We've been having a heat wave and the apartment was actually pretty warm as well. I felt bad for the men in suits.

Shortly after my friends and I needed to head out. We were standing and waiting for the lobby and wouldn't you know it, Mitt and his entourage show up and share the elevator with us. He held the door and let all us ladies out first. I just kept thinking to myself, "What if one day I can say I rode the elevator with the president?"

Anyway, it was a really fun night and I felt super giddy to be there.
I didn't intend for this to be so long but you all know by now how I ramble.

I've included the pic with Mitt, the pic of the view, and a pretty bad pic of Mitt with John Whitehead. I'm embarrassed to say I didn't know who he was at the time. For anyone else naive like me, he served as the Deputy Secretary of State in the Reagan administration, was a chairman of Goldman Sachs, and the Chairman of the Board of the NY Fed. He'll be 90 years old next year which was shocking to me. He looks great. Someone affiliated with the Jets was there as well, and spoke with us for a minute, but now I can't remember his name! It wasn't Woody Johnson but I guess he does go to some Mitt events.

Much too young to feel this damn old

2011-07-29T09:07:00.003-05:00

Tonight I leave for a week of vacation. It'll be a whirlwind, as usual, but I'm so excited. I've got a lot going on with making it to Salt Lake City, Boise, Rexburg, and California within eight days, but the main reason for the trip is to attend my ten year high school reunion. I can't believe it's been ten years already, but it also feels like a hundred since I was living these carefree days.

With Denos and Cindelle at graduation. The very first friends I met after moving to California when I was ten years old.

OOoooooh Kevin. I thought we were going to get married after this amazing night. Senior Prom.
We probably have 24,453,756 cheer photos together but this one with G and Meg is one of my absolute favorites.

I'll be spending this evening

2011-07-19T16:11:00.003-05:00

with this handsome man, and I couldn't be more excited.
Romney 2012.

Quotes

2011-07-17T20:56:00.002-05:00

From Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close:

-So many people enter and leave your life! Hundreds of thousands of people! You have to keep the door open so they can come in! But is also means you have to let them go!

-What if the water that came out of the shower was treated with a chemical that responded to a combination of things, like your heartbeat, and your body temperature, and your brain waves, so that your skin changed color according to your mood? If you were extremely excited your skin would turn green, and if you were angry you'd turn red, obviously, and if you felt like shiitake you'd turn brown, and if you were blue you'd turn blue. Everyone could know what everyone else felt, and we could be more careful with each other, because you'd never want to tell a person whose skin was purple that you're angry at her for being late, just like you would want to pat a pink person on the back and tell him, "Congratulations!"

-It's hard to say goodbye to the place you've lived. It can be as hard as saying goodbye to a person.

The first time I experienced this was the last time I walked out of my bedroom in apartment 304 at the Ridge in Rexburg. I'd lived in that bedroom for 22 months. The walls had been papered with pictures and keepsakes and suddenly I was looking at a completely barren bedroom, as if no one had ever been there. As if I'd never gossiped with my closest girlfriends, had arguments over the phone, cried myself to sleep, stayed up all night kissing my boyfriend, stressed about money and school and what I'd do after graduation. It was as if none of it had ever happened. As I walked down the hallway I cried, and even more so as I drove down the hill from Rexburg and looked in my rearview mirror. I can't imagine what it will be like one day when I leave my little apartment here in New York, my very first home that is all my own and which I love so much.

-It was the first time I had ever cried in front of him. It felt like making love.

I can remember perfectly the first time I cried in front of a boyfriend. I was 21 and in college and in his bedroom and we'd just argued about something and I cried. So embarrassed and so bonded from this first experience.

-You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.

-I put my hand on him. Touching him was always so important to me. It was something I lived for. I never could explain why. Little, nothing touches. My fingers against his shoulder. The outsides of our thighs touching as we squeezed together on the bus. I couldn't explain it, but I needed it. Sometimes I imagined stitching all of our little touches together. How many hundreds of thousands of fingers brushing against each other does it take to make love?

My love language is physical touch and this sums up my feelings so perfectly.

-I looked at everyone and wondered where they came from, and who they missed, and what they were sorry for.

Does anyone else see people and make up little stories about them in their mind?

-...it broke my heart into more pieces than my heart was made of...

The most painful feeling.

From The Help:

**Warning, final quote is a spoiler.

-...he talked and talked, his words fell through him, trying to find the floor of his sadness..

It is a wonderful thing when you have someone with whom you feel safe enough to purge all these sad feelings, trying to find the floor of sadness.

-Cause that's the way prayer do. It's like electricity, it keeps things going.

-I don't know what to say to her. All I know is, I ain't saying it. And I know she ain't saying what she want a say either and it's a strange thing happening here cause nobody saying nothing and we still managing to have us a conversation.

-I used to dash by, feeling like a dartboard, a big red bull's-eye that Mother pinged darts at.

-No one tells us, girls who don't go on dates, that remembering can be almost as good as what actually happens.

There is nothing like the day after a great kiss, being at work, unable to focus, and replaying it over and over and over again in your head. It really is almost as good as what happened.

-Right in the middle of the Robert E. Lee Hotel Restaurant, he kissed me so slowly with an open mouth and every single thing in my body -- my skin, my collarbone, the hollow backs of my knees, everything inside of me filled up with light.

Heaven.

-I always thought insanity would be a dark, bitter feeling, but it is drenching and delicious if you really roll around in it.

-He moves closer and leans down so I will look at him. And I feel sick, literally nauseated by the smell of bourbon on his breath. And yet I still want to fold myself up and put my entire body in his arms. I am loving him and hating him at the same time.

I don't know if there's anything worse a person can feel than equal parts in love and hate for someone.

-There is so much you don't know about a person. I wonder if I could've made her days a little bit easier, if I'd tried. If I'd treated her a little nicer. Wasn't that the point of the book? For women to realize, We are just two people. Not that much separates us.

-"Are you sure it's alright? If I leave you, with everything so..." "Go to New York, Miss Skeeter. Go find your life."

-Because it's like I had this exact conversation five years ago.

Summer by the numbers

2011-07-15T23:30:00.003-05:00

The current temperature, at 12:31am. I love summer nights in the city.

Seasons I've embraced. I am officially a seasons person. Earlier this week it was insanely humid and I didn't even care because this is New York in the summer. I love it all.

Mosquito bites on my right foot. I do not love those suckers. I get eaten alive in the park.

570

Steps from my apartment to Central Park.

Weekends I've been out of town since April 22nd.

Weekends I'll be out of town from now until Labor Day (not counting Labor Day.)

Percent of The Help I've read on my Kindle. Loving it.

Days until Maria moves to Utah. I hate it.

Number of sisters who will be in New York in a week (my mom and her sisters...and my grandma! Wahoo!)

Days till a full week off of work for vacation.

Years since I graduated high school. The reunion is in three weeks.

Years of my perfect grandma's life we're celebrating this month.

10:22

AM train my friends and I will be taking to the beach tomorrow.

Minutes I waited in line just to get into the Alexander McQueen exhibit at The Met tonight. Totally worth it. It was insanely beautiful and haunting. The best words I can think of to describe it.

So true.

2011-07-14T08:03:00.001-05:00

I can't tell you how many times I've told people I went to school in Idaho and they start asking me how I liked being in the midwest.

Date night

2011-07-11T16:24:00.002-05:00

7.7.11 @ Koi with two of my very favorite friends, Britt and Maria.

This weekend

2011-07-11T16:04:00.003-05:00

This photo pretty much sums up my weekend. It was filled with way too much junk food, and hours, yes, hours, spent watching Jeter coverage.

The highlights:
-walking home through the a very empty Central Park with Court due to the rain
-dinner at my favorite mexican joint, Harry's Burritos
-running into Phil, one of the nicest guys from my Wall Street days
-both of us (Courtnie, not Phil) passing out at my place, and then convincing Court to head to Hell's with me so I could get my favorite concrete at Shake Shack, the It's Pretzle.
-sleeping a hard, uninterrupted ten hours
-brunch with some of my favorite girls, Ash, Britt, Maria, Alisa, Court, and Jen at one of my favorite places, Agave.
-getting home one inning too late....:(.....to see Jeter's 3000th hit live, but then watching most of the rest of the game, as well as lots and lots of replays, coverage, interviews, etc.
-late nap
-stroll through Central Park to the east side
-picking up Sprinkles for Maria's going away party
-Maria's party with way way way too many treats (we were told to bring our favorite NY treats since Maria's moving to Provs.) Yes, I'm aware Sprinkles is originally a west coast thing, however Maria just had it for the first time and is sad to leave it behind. I also think their red velvet cupcake is the best cupcake I've ever had in my life. And, how can I buy any other cupcakes now that I know they make Yankees cupcakes??!!
-a run in with Jamar
-watching more Yanks/Jeets coverage from 11:30pm-1am
-getting almost caught up on the shows which have been on my dvr for about two months and have managed to not automatically delete
-slept in again (oops)
-watched CC throw a complete game, first time I've seen that as far as I can recollect.
-fourish hours in the park reading
-Shake Shack for din
-caught up with Mattgician, whom I've successfully phased into the friend zone. Booya.

Some others who get it

2011-06-30T11:34:00.002-05:00

I don't think New York City is like other cities. It does not have character like LA or New Orleans. It is all characters. In fact it is everything. It can destroy man, but if his eyes are open it cannot bore him.
New York City is an ugly city, a dirty city. Its climate is scandal, its politics are used to frighten children, its traffic is madness, its competition is murderous. But there is one thing about it -- Once you have lived in New York and it has become your home, no place else is good enough.
-John Steinbeck

The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.
-John Updike

found at A to B

At the company summer soiree Tuesday

2011-06-30T09:41:00.004-05:00

Not a shabby view.

A splendid weekend

2011-06-27T14:37:00.003-05:00

It was an absolutely perfect weekend. I had minimal obligations which was exactly what I wanted. I did almost everything I wanted to do, and nothing I didn't really feel like doing.

Friday night Emilee and I both worked until 10pm. That probably doesn't sound like an ideal Friday night, however, it was perfect. We both had the kind of work to get done that is easier when you don't need to answer phones, or quickly switch to another task because someone's asked for something. It was nice to have the office to ourselves, and be able to just chat while we talked, verses IMing each other. Not to mention, a $30 dinner allowance and cab ride home isn't too shabby. Plus, I'm always super tired on Fridays and I had no plans, so it's not like I was giving up too much.

Saturday all I really wanted to do was sleep in. And then I woke up at 8:30am. Not exactly what a single person without obligations considers sleeping in. Luckily I fell back asleep until about 10:30am, which was perfect, because I didn't want to waste too much of the day. I got ready and went back into work and was able to finish everything I needed to do in two hours so not bad at all. I then hopped in a cab and headed to SoHo for some shopping. I had some giftcards from my birthday (and Christmas!) and some coupons that were going to expire so I treated myself to a little belated birthday shopping. I found too many cute things. Oops. I rushed back uptown to change, and then head back downtown for dinner.

I probably shouldn't put this on my blog because I'm sure it will freak out my parents, and it's the sort of thing that rarely happens but when it does it gets everyone who doesn't live here all up in a tizzy, but, oh well. Now that I walk to work and have become an UWS snob I hardly take the subway anymore. I was actually excited to take it, and chose to take the local, because I had a little extra time and wanted to read my book. We were at 18th Street, one stop away, when suddenly everyone started getting off the train. Of course I was in my bubble like everyone usually is on the subway, music in ears and book to my face, but I did notice everyone getting off the train. On the weekends this usually means one thing; there's a service change and everyone's getting off the subway because it's going to pass their stop. I took my earbuds out to hear what the change was, and then realized everyone was sort of panicked and I hear some people right outside the train yelling, "POLICE! POLICE!" I stepped out to see a crowd gathering at the subway car right in front of mine. I then heard some people saying there were some people fighting. I stood there for a minute trying to see what was happening, and then I saw the guys punching each other. It was basically the sort of thing you'd see in high school and everyone would get excited about. I don't know if it's just that I'm becoming older, or haven't seen a fight in a while, or because I live in New York, but I was pretty unnerved. I started thinking about what I would do if someone pulled out a knife or a gun. (Which must mean I wasn't that scared because in actual emergencies I have a really hard time thinking clearly.) It seemed like only a couple minutes before things broke up and I just got back on the subway. It was at that point that everyone started acting like regular New Yorkers, wondering aloud when the doors would close and when we'd be back on our way. I was just about to leave and walk the rest of the way, when the doors closed and we took off for 14th Street. I'm really glad no one was seriously hurt, and I'm really glad I wasn't standing twenty feet south when the train picked me up at 66th Street, otherwise I would have been on that car. I also kept thinking how glad I was I'm not dating Curtis anymore, because he is absolutely the guy that would run to the guys and try to break them up. It's a noble effort, but I'm not trying to see my boyfriend get shanked.

I finally met up with my friends at Shanghai Market for some delish Vietnamese food. For real, I would go back in a second. (And I had turkesh for lunch today. Who am I?) The service was awesome. Our first appetizer was on our table within four minutes of ordering. Seriously. Some of my friends have been there a lot and they said the food starts coming within five minutes of ordering without fail.

We were there to celebrate the awesome news that Maria got into BYU Law school. I can't talk much about it because it will make me cry. Maria was one of my first true friends I made in the city and has been through a lot with me. Okay, that's all I can write for now because I'm getting sad. I'm sure there will be a mushy post later.

After dinner some of us went to Stand, home of the toasted marshmellow shake. I had that shake once. It's weird, it's like you're drinking a toasted marshmellow. This time I opted for the chocolate peanut butter and didn't regret it for a second.

Sunday I headed to church and then met Mikey Perkey for an amazing brunch, pictured below. Mike was in town for work and it was so great to see him. We ate at Sarabeth's and I really can't believe it was only my second time because it is so good. I got the lemon ricotta pancakes and they were to. die. for.

Next I did what I've been wanting to do for weeks. I took a blanket and my book and parked it in the park. It was glorious. It's easy to get distracted because there's a bazillion people in the park, especially on a lovely Sunday, but I made a small dent in my book. I'm about half way done with The Help now. I seriously love it.

And yes, it is kind of ridiculous to post a photo of yourself but.....I'm sitting here writing about myself so I suppose a photo isn't too different?

After about three hours in the park I headed home and sat down to watch Bull Durham. A couple weeks ago a friend stayed with me and sent me the dvd as a thank you gift. We'd gone to two baseball games that weekend, and discussed baseball all weekend long, including this movie, which I mentioned I'd never seen. I attempted to watch it four times last week, but could never stay awake. (Not because of the quality of movie, but because I just have such a hard time staying awake in any movie.) I figured if I started at 8pm I'd stay awake. It got a little iffy but I held out. It was an entertaining movie, but I had mixed feelings. I loved Kevin Costner's character, Crash Davis, and now understand why my 11th grade history teacher (who was also the baseball coach) gave his son the middle name Crash. I had a hard time getting past my annoyance for Susan Sarandon's character, however. It was too unrealistic for me to believe that some woman who's a big baseball fan can give a pitcher better tips to help his game than his manager or someone on the payroll could. But, that's just the anti chick-flick part of me.

All in all, I enjoyed the movie. I love pretty much any sports movie, especially when it's a true story. I requested some good baseball movies on facebook and got the following responses:

Major League
Fever Pitch
For the Love of the Game
Field of Dreams
A League of Their Own
Sandlot
Rookie of the Year
Sugar
The Natural
The Pride of the Yankees
'61
Angels in the Outfield
Eight Men Out

I think next up will be For the Love of the Game, The Natural, The Pride of the Yankees, and Eight Men Out. I haven't seen any of these except The Natural, but I only saw that once, and it was about 10 years ago. (Wow, was I really in the dorms in college ten years ago?) I sort of would like to read the book The Natural first though. Hm...I have too many "to read" books on my list for how slowly I finish books. I guess I should read Torre's The Yankee Years first, since I stole it from my dad a few months ago...

Does anyone else not know how to end a post sometimes?

Help

2011-06-22T08:49:00.003-05:00

I have no idea why blogger is publishing my posts with such massive spaces in between paragraphs, it's driving me nuts. I only put a single space in between each paragraph in the last post and it looks like there are two spaces. Then I went back and edited the post so there were no spaces, yet, once I published, it still looked like that. It's really annoying me. Does anyone know why?
Also (apparently this is my open forum to ask for help) lately I cannot for the life of me comment on anyones blog who has their comment settings set to make me choose a profile before I comment. Does anyone know why???
HELP!

Hudson River

2011-06-22T08:31:00.003-05:00

I decided to mix i t up on Monday and go running along the West Side Highway trail instead of the Reservoir. I can't remember the last time I went running on a straight path, versus a loop. It was weird not being able to just look how much further I had to go, and at some point just deciding to stop and turn around. Not sure I like that.

I did enjoy the change in scenery, and you can't beat the view of the sun setting.

Last night Em and I rode our bikes down to the Shake Shack for a birthday get together. It was so nice to be on my bike for the first time this year. I thought it was the perfect way to enjoy the longest day of the year.

Finally

2011-06-10T14:45:00.001-05:00

I was able to see a Yankees vs Sox game with my two favorite Sox fans on Wednesday. I still haven't made it to Fenway but will one of these days. It was a brutal series, and you can probably tell the humidity was brutal as well.

On tap for the weekend

2011-06-10T14:42:00.003-05:00

Tonight and tomorrow. We are hurting after the second straight sweep from the Sox. Sheesh. Thank goodness it's only June. Come on Yanks.

Surprise!

2011-06-08T09:15:00.002-05:00

It all started a few weeks ago when Emilee told me she and Courtnie wanted to take me to dinner after my birthday since she and I would both be out of town on the 4th. The last month or so has been really really busy for me. It's all been fun busy, but busy. We decided on the 7th, I put it on my calendar, and didn't think anything of it.

We didn't ever really discuss where we'd go, time, or anything, but since they're two of my closest friends I figured it wouldn't be an issue. We all get off work about the same time and I knew we'd figure it out. I hadn't seen Courtnie in a couple weeks and needed a proper catch up, and we'd all had eventful weekends so I was mostly just looking forward to being able to chat and get caught up on each others' lives.

Yesterday morning I was walking to work thinking, "Where do I want to eat tonight??" I seriously could not think of anything. Nothing jumped out at me. All day it wasn't really discussed, but I knew Courtnie was really busy at work, and Em sits 10 feet away from me and we IM all day so at some point I asked Em if we were still going to dinner. She said yes, and had decided on Lombardi's and Rice to Riches. I was so thrilled because it sounded so perfect! Pizza is my favorite food, I've never been to Lombardi's and had recently mentioned to Em I wanted to go, and we all know my love for R2R. (If you don't believe me, just ask Aimee or Emilee, or the good people at R2R.) More than anything, it made me happy that my friend would know what would be perfect for my birthday (hence, yesterday's post.)

As the end of the day approached Em and I had discussed maybe running to Bloomingdales, or Barneys, and never really had a concrete plan. Emilee and I have both complained about having to go out on weeknights at times, because we like to leave our evenings open to work out, do things around the apartment, etc. I asked her if she felt like backing out, and gave her a hard time about it (even though she insisted she wouldn't) and when I found out she had a headache I told her I 100% would understand if she wanted to reschedule for another night. I myself considered canceling because my eyes were driving me crazy. (Did I mention the last two and a half months I've been dealing with keratitis? I was miserable yesterday afternoon. We finally figured it out just before I left (a little before Emilee) and then the three of us met up.

We were in midtown until about 7:30 or so and then headed downtown to Lombardi's. When we got off the subway I made a quick call and Emilee took off in a rush. I was confused but didn't think much of it. When Courtnie and I got to the restaurant there were people spilling out of it, waiting to be seated. Great, I thought. It's going to take foreeeeeeveeeeeer to be seated. I decided to use the ladies' room and thought to myself, I really hope Em flirted and used her charm and good looks to get us a table. (Wouldn't be the first time.) When I came out Courtnie was waiting for me and said, "Em got us a table in this random room in the back." I chuckled to myself, knowing of course Em had pulled through.

We walked to the back, through the kitchen, and then up the stairs. I really wasn't thinking anything, and as I turned around suddenly a group yelled, "SURPRISE!" I can't even tell you what I was thinking because I was so surprised. I think I just felt confused, surprised, happy, and disoriented. It took time to sink in, and I actually felt myself becoming a little embarrassed.

I realized all the regulars were there, and suddenly I noticed Aimee! And Jerry! What??? Who planned this and how did they get in touch with Aim? Slowly things started making more sense as I kept asking questions. I felt so flustered. Apparently they'd all been there since 7:15pm and it was now 8pm. Oops. I felt so badly! Em and Court said they'd tried to get me downtown earlier but didn't want to be too obvious. (They did a good job because in hindsight I can see how they tried, and if they would have persisted any more I probably would have gotten annoyed because in my mind, what was the rush??)

It was so great to see everyone, and I honestly felt so overwhelmed with love and appreciation. With all our friends it's always someones birthday, which makes birthdays feel a little less special because it seems like every couple weeks we're going to dinner for someone else's birthday. Last night felt far from routine. I felt really special. I am so thankful for my friends. I feel incredibly blessed. The one regret is not getting any photos. I kept telling myself to take pictures, but I was just too frazzled.

Thank you so much Emilee, Courtnie, Kevin, Tom, Colin, Aimee, Jerry, Dave, Logan, Brittany, Jason, Maria, and Jenn.

Little things I love.

2011-06-07T09:49:00.004-05:00

Waking up in the morning to find someone in an earlier time zone texted me in the night.
Getting a card in the mail just because.
The temperature in the early mornings during summer.
Voicemails with loved ones singing "Happy Birthday" (it's always humiliating so I know they really love me.)
Getting a compliment from a stranger; I know it's completely genuine because there's no motive.
Friends who know where I want to go to dinner before I even do.
Finding the perfect gift for someone, but having to wait to give it to them.
Fresh flowers at home (even better if someone else gave them, better yet, sent them to me.)
An east facing window so the sunshine floods in at morning.
A shower at night, followed by fresh towels, and fresh sheets.

This birthday girl is pooped

2011-06-06T08:34:00.004-05:00

Rachel Hopebug & Alli Puppy @ Gracie's 6.4.11

After this weekend I officially know what it feels like to have too much fun. Holy smokes, I need a nap. Turning 28 felt great. The weekend consisted of a 43 hour trip to Utah, great food, amazing friends both old and new, little sleep, beautiful weather, long talks, lots of hysterical laughter, and a gorgeous drive through Park City and Heber. Sunday it was so gorgeous out I kept thinking of my dad's coined line, "Today is the kind of day that makes you grateful to be alive." Al and I even spent a night in the Hilton in downtown Salt Lake. Never in my life would I have expected to sleep in a hotel in Utah. I probably know more people there than any other state, however it was a fun, spur of the moment decision Saturday night. I was overwhelmed with the facebook love, phone calls, emails, and texts. I plan to respond to every one but haven't had two seconds of solo down time.

And it's not about to slow down. On tap for the week: belated birthday dinner for Britt tonight, birthday dinner with Court and Em tomorrow night, Yankees/Red Sox game with Dad and Brad Wednesday night (so excited about this), cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping Thursday night, and then an out of town friend comes Thursday night. Friday night and Saturday day are Yankees games again. Three in one week, how happy am I?

Thanks so much to everyone for making this birthday one of the best yet. I've decided birthdays really do get better with age.

Back to the grind...

2011-05-31T12:13:00.002-05:00

I had a lovely three days in Houston. I was seriously cutting it close to make my flight out (was standing in the security line and could see people boarding my flight) but I made it, and it was amazing. I don't typically like to push it with flights, because I hate being rushed (at airports or otherwise) but this new gig isn't as easy to just leave early as the last job was.

All I wanted from this weekend was to catch up with friends, relax, and get some sun. I would say my mission was accomplished. The Burnses were more than accommodating. Saturday we went boating and despite my fear of not getting up on the wakeboard (haven't been since I learned how five years ago) I didn't really have any problems. The water was ridiculously warm. I'm talking, no shock at all when I got in. I bet it was about 85 degrees. I've never really been boating when there wasn't at least 6+ people wanting to wakeboard, so it was strange when my turn came up again and I felt like I still needed to rest. We had a bit of a (3 hour) setback before getting to the river when the trailer got a flat tire, however, we only needed the 2 1/2 hours we were on the water. Everyone was pooped.

That evening I did some laying around in the pool, and then we BBQ'd and ate outside and it was divine. They asked if I wanted to go out, but all I really wanted to do was shower, and relax.

Sunday was church, and then I was the bad influence who took little Rachel home with me and we laid out after Sacrament meeting. (Oops.) Another delicious dinner, and then it was back to the church for Rachel's seminary graduation. Man, I do not miss the days of seminary. Not at all.

That night some of their friends from the ward came over for ice cream sundaes. I chatted a bit, and then just went upstairs to finally finish Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. I'd put that one down for a while, as I frequently do with books, but I'm glad I finished it, especially since the movie will be out in a few months.

Monday was a lazy morning, and then off the family went for Rachel's high school graduation. They kept apologizing for leaving, but I just felt bad I couldn't go to graduation since I had to fly out that evening. I will admit, even though I was so excited and loving the relaxing, I did wonder if I'd get bored or lonely with my three solo hours in the pool. It only took about 20 minutes for me to forget I had a good chunk of time to kill. By 1pm I realized I was hungry so I had some lunch, got back in the pool, and the next thing I knew, I only had 15 minutes left before I had to get ready. I was not ready to leave that pool. Not ready at all. I could have gone another 2 hours easily. I'd downloaded The Help onto my kindle and couldn't have been happier reading in the sun, sitting in my blow up chair in the pool. It was seriously heaven. Oh yeah, and I'm totally proud of myself because I wore sunscreen every day (even reapplying once on Monday) and wore a hat. I'm getting paranoid in my old age, and I'll admit, I still have a nice tan, and when I saw a chick totally fried at the airport I felt very smug.

Monday afternoon

The Rachels, just before she left for her graduation. I remember when this one was four or five years old.

Now I'm back at work, totally unmotivated. Lots to do before I head out again this weekend. Surprisingly, I'm not even sick of traveling. I guess I've been having too much fun, and I've really really looked forward to each trip.

Hope everyone had a lovely Memorial Day weekend!

What I've been up to

2011-05-25T16:14:00.006-05:00

and the reader's digest version of what happened...

Nephews Spencer, Jared, and Hudson. I actually was not at this event, but Spencer was blessed in Salt Lake City. How cute are these boys???

April 21-24

Easter in Salt Lake City. Nephew Ryan and niece Megan coloring eggs. Lil cuties.

-spent a night with an old college friend

-spa day with Mom and Rebecca (Mom and I ended up staying seven hours and it was glorious)

-Z'tejas with old roomies Alli & Libby. Non. Stop. Laughter.

-spent the night with Alli and Toby and stayed up talking till 6am

-discussed grown up problems with Al and Tobes over brunch at Mimi's

-had emotional breakdown due to thinking about all my friends and tough things they're going through, and serious lack of sleep

-Cafe Rio with extended family

-more mexican food for a late dinner and a piano bar with a friend

-Sunday School at Grandma's church

-Relief Society at Aunt Vicki's church

-drove my mom and myself to SLC airport

May 6-8
Back to SLC for Kambria and Preston's wedding.

-Barely caught my flight due to a very confusing gate situation at JFK. Justin and Ellie were on my flight. Had the whole row to myself.

-Spent the night with Alli and Toby, stayed up talking, once again until after 6am. (Woke up two hours later....)

-"Brunch" at Maglebees. (I use quotes because no one does brunch like NYC.)

-Took advantage of the icredible weather and went shooting. (I swear this photo is decieving...Toby is further back than he looks. Also, I did not shoot. I haven't ever used a shotgun and I didn't want to take the chance of having that gun smack me in the face and having to go to the reception with a shiner.)

-Met up with my handsome date and then headed to the Hilton in downtown SLC for the reception.

-Had the best time seeing so many New York friends at the wedding, especially those who no longer live in New York. (Kam and Preston dated in New York and now live in SLC, so there was a good group of us at the wedding.)

-Enjoyed Kam bringing pieces of her heritage into her wedding. (Her Mexican viel, the Lebanese food, the father-daughter dance being a salsa dance.) It was so great and her dad's speech was one of the sweetest I've ever heard.

-Enjoyed spending Mothers' Day by going to church with Grandma, Aunt Terry, and Aunt Vicki.
-Made my flight back to New York just fine, was joined by Justin, Ellie, and Maria.

May 13-15 New Hampshire to finally meet little Spenc.
-Flew from Newark to Logan and decided I would suck it up and pay the extra cash and go that route from now on.

-Woke up early enough to be able to get Madeline up when she woke. Melted in half when she wasn't confused at all, knew who I was, and reached for me.

-Smothered both babies all weekend long.

-Gossiped.

-Laughed our heads off.
-Ate. And Ate and ate.

-Went to a fish......run? Can't remember what it's called........

-Watched the Yankees/Sox game.

-Read.
-Enjoyed the fact that I can always just be lazy and do nothing at Brad and Nadia's and still have the best time.
-Wondered why I let months go by in between visits.

-Was sad to leave, like always.

-Hung out at Logan airport for two hours due to plane delay, and another hour on the tarmak. Decided I will not fly next time....

May 20-22
Berkshires.

-Took up 12 friends.

-Was a complete stress case, as usual.

-Had to call John while on his golfing vacation for the following: a door that was accidently locked and closed, a screen door that was locked open, and had to be taken apart (unnecessarily, we later realized,) a pool that would not heat up, and a friend who'd done a back dive into the pool and hit his head and had to be taken to the emergency room. (He was okay, thank goodness. Doctor glued up the gash in his head, gave him a neck brace, and sent him on his way. I think I was more tramatized than he was.)

-Played some hilarious truth or dare (yes, we're in our 20s and 30s.)

-Eating in the screened in porch.

-Watching the sun go down after the rain had come and gone, and the temperature was perfect, while on rocking chairs on the deck (my favorite moment.)

-Fire in the fireplace.

May 24 -Jason, Elise, and Hudson came into town and I was so excited. Seeing all the adorable photos Elise puts on their blog is like torture for an auntie 3000 miles away.

-Grabbed some din at Patsy's, followed by ice cream at Emack & Bolio's.

-Insisted on carrying Hudson the whole way to the restaurant, and a lot of the way back which resulted in a very sore arm.

May 25

-I'd told Jason and Elise I'd watch my little Huddy Buddy so they could go out one night.

-Ten minutes into being cooped up in the hotel (and after 10 hours in the office) auntie was stir crazy so we went for what turned out to be a four mile walk. This was my view all night, and I could not get enough. Hudson is the happiest most mellow baby. Ever.

Coming up:

-Houston this weekend for non stop laziness by the pool and on the boat at the Burns's.

-SLC the following weekend for my bday.

And then, a break from travel......for now.

PS I don't know why blogger suddenly made everything double spaced mid post but it's really annoying me and I couldn't fix it......

Links for Friday

2011-05-20T15:00:00.002-05:00

I know. I've been MIA. I've started a post about a million times and usually make it as far as the title, or the first sentence, and then get busy with something else. Life has been insane. Work has been crazy, the week nights have been crazy, and I'm in the middle of a seven week stretch of being on the road almost every weekend. It's been exhausting but so fun.
Headed to the Berkshires this evening for a weekend of guilt-free laziness with a bunch of friends and 6pm can't come quickly enough.

Here's some links for you. Happy weekend!

A fairy tale proposal.

Bad habits to quit.

Dr. Laura's thoughts on Empty Nestors.

A marriage proposal that starts out pretty cool, but turns extremely cheesy. Would be a perfect proposal.........for Prom.

A photography cheat sheet.

One of my favorite blogs.

There are still honest people in the world.

Perfection.

2011-04-29T08:21:00.003-05:00

I've only caught bits and pieces of the royal wedding while I was getting ready for work this morning, and it's on the tv above me at work, on silent. But oh. my. goodness! I do not think it's possible for Kate to look more perfect and more royal. For the last week I've heard people complaining non stop about the hype the wedding has been getting, but honestly 90% of the hype I've been hearing has been complaints about the hype.

While watching William and Kate walk down the aisle together to leave Westminster Abbey I was so glad I was able to go inside just a few months ago. It is possibly the most beautiful building I've ever seen and I loved imagining while I was there what the wedding would be like.

Congrats Wills and Kate!!

Love this. Thanks EC.

2011-04-19T09:56:00.002-05:00

Job update

2011-04-12T19:04:00.003-05:00

I should have known how things would go when I walked in for my first day of work at my new job and told the receptionist I was starting temping that day and she responded with, "They just can't fill that position," under her breath. Remember how I said I was temp to perm? I felt awkward saying I was the "new assistant" considering it wasn't exactly final. I also felt awkward saying I was temping. Everyone except my bosses and HR treated me like I was official.

Since I couldn't get a straight answer before I started the job, I decided to email HR on my first day to sit down and discuss a timeline for how long I would be considered a temp. They agreed to meet with me the next day. It was awkward, but I left feeling a little better when I was told they'd speak with my bosses and get back to me by the end of the next day.

Meanwhile, while I was in the office I treated my job as if it was permanent. I requested sit down meetings with each of my three bosses to chat about how they liked things done, meetings scheduled, travel arranged, phones answered, etc. I felt like I was doing a pretty good job despite the lack of personal interaction and warm feel I got from them. (When I say they treated me like I temp, I didn't mean in regards to work, they just couldn't have cared less about who I was as a person. It was strictly business.) I reminded myself I would never have a boss like my last, and focused on the fact that I really liked the other assistants I sat near, and pretty much everyone else in the office. I was loving the commute to work, the later hours (start at 9am, leave at 6 or 6:30pm), the amazingly stocked kitchen and daily catered lunches, and sparkly beautiful office. However, while I was out of the office, I was not going to stop interviewing until I had a permanent offer in writing.

Wednesday came and went without hearing back from HR. I decided I would give them until the end of the week. Friday came and everyone in HR was running around pulling their hair out. It was the day they were interviewing for summer associates, and did not seem like the best day to follow up. This was also the day I had a second interview at a hedge fund. I thought it went well, but I thought a lot of interviews went well. I've learned not to count my chickens before they hatch.

Monday came and went, as it was another summer associate interview day. I also went on a first interview that morning. Tuesday came and I emailed my HR contact again, to follow up. She called me on the phone and asked me if I'd had the chance to sit down with each of my bosses. Yes? Okay, she'll follow up with them and get back to me by the end of the week. At this point I was getting a little annoyed. In both of these discussions she focused more on asking me questions instead of answering mine.

Wednesday afternoon came and I received a call from my head hunter informing me the company I'd had a second interview with the week prior wanted to offer me a permanent position, and could I go to the office today to get the formal letter. I couldn't believe it. I did not see this coming. Yes, like I mentioned, I thought the interview went well, however from January 13th through February 18th I'd gone on twenty one interviews. Twenty one! Twelve of which were firsts. In case you're wondering, besides weekends and two holidays, there are twenty six business days between January 13th and February 18th. And that's not counting the second and first interviews I had after I started working. I made a point not to cut into business hours to interview (a perk with a 9am start time) but since someone else was giving me a permanent offer I informed my bosses I had an appointment that afternoon. (Thank you Lynette for teaching me at the young age of 18 to always say I have "an appointment" because it could be anything from a doctor's appointment to a lunch date but as long as you don't specify you're not lying and don't have to feel guilty.)

I went over to the new company for what I thought was just going to be a sit down with HR to receive the letter, but it turned out it was (yet another) interview with the head of the group. It was a little awkward because I'd basically already been told they had an offer for me, yet now I was being put through one of the tougher interviews I'd been on, for about forty five minutes. Luckily, it all worked out, and I received my offer.

I called my headhunter and told her the details of the offer, and that I wanted to give the company at which I was currently working a chance to counter offer. I had decided I would give them until end of the day Friday to make me an offer, as I'd told the other company I would give them an answer by Monday.

This is where it gets awkward. I went back to work as if nothing had happened. I'd conveyed my feelings to the headhunter who was on the other side of midtown, who called HR who was two floors below, who called my bosses, who were sitting ten feet away.

By that night I was 90% sure I was going to accept the offer from the second company. It just felt right. I basically only wanted to see if the first company would counter offer, and what the offer would be. In my gut I did not feel like they would, as it had only been ten days that I had been working for them, and during that time two of my three bosses had been on business trips, so they really didn't know me well. This is also the same company that had informed my head hunter they'd planned on giving me an offer two weeks before they actually extended the offer. Something tells me this company moves slow.

By Thursday afternoon my headhunter informed me HR had said my bosses were not in a position to move quickly enough to give me an offer. I was not surprised. So I formally accepted my other offer, decided Friday would be my last day at the current gig, and started planning my week off in between.

I know what you're thinking, "You'd two months off." But let me tell you, it was not a mental vacation in the slightest. Yes, Europe was amazing and I'm not complaining, but the whole time I had to face the fact that I was coming home to unemployment. And then the interviewing process. Interviewing is rough. There's a lot of emotions involved, frustration, and it's really really tough selling yourself over and over again. Imagine going on twenty one dates in twenty six days. Ugh. Not to mention, I realized it'd been five months since I'd spent time anywhere above 60 degrees.

So about two hours after I formally accepted the work day was ending and I was supposed to go to a drink thing with a bunch of assistants to welcome me and another assistant to the company. (Remember how I said everyone else was super nice, welcoming, and treated me like I was permanent?) Talk about feeling awkward. No one but HR even knew I was leaving. My bosses hadn't even brought it up. I broke the news to the girls I sat by and they were totally understanding, told me I should still come, and informed me I was dodging a bullet. Yep. I can't get into all the specifics but it is a very good thing I accepted this other offer. My gut feeling was confirmed. I was really sad to leave these girls. Even though it'd only been two weeks I felt like we'd been friends for months.

So Friday came, my last day. Still no mention from any of the bosses. Awkward city. To be fair, one sat on the other side of the floor and never talked to me (I'm talking he looked at me with a weird look on his face one day when I said good morning), and one was on a business trip. However, I did know they knew, because one of the assistants informed me one of my bosses told her he was very upset with HR, and would have liked to have made me permanent right away. At the end of the day when I was having this boss sign off on my hours I finally mentioned the elephant in the room. He was very understanding, supportive, well wishing, and told me he would do the same thing. He said he didn't know why HR was dragging their feet and would have loved to have given me an offer. Even though I knew it was best to leave, I at least felt some gratification and validation in my ability to do my job in hearing this. I also, once again, felt like my feelings were confirmed when I found out there was a girl who used to work at this company, as a temp to perm, and was given the runaround and temped for two years. No thank you.

Friday night I went out to celebrate and Saturday I was off to California to soak up some rays, relax (mentally and physically), and spend time with friends and family. This deserves a post of its own.

The following week I started my new job and am very happy. It's longer, earlier hours (8am-6pm, and no, we don't take a lunch hour, no one does in New York) but I'm really happy. I'm working with a great team, my bosses are very approachable, and I'm working with one of my best friends. Yep. When I initially interviewed it was just random my headhunter was sending me to this company. Emilee and I decided neither of us would mention our personal relationship. I did not want our relationship to influence my chances one way or the other. It was quite the surprise to everyone when they found out we were friends, but I felt like it was the most professional thing to do, and was told so by the head of the group as well. We were both a little apprehensive about how working together would affect our friendship, but we both feel like our work relationship and our social relationship are very different. I think we both make an effort to keep things professional and separate and for the last month it's worked out very well. And when I say my bosses are approachable, I was told on the first day to never be afraid to ask a question, even if it was something I felt like I should already know. At the last place? I was told, "The guys don't want to be bothered with questions, just figure it out yourself." Quite the change.

Some other perks: free breakfast and lunch, jeans on Fridays (can't tell you how excited I am about this), and my commute is still a simple 1 1/4 mile walk through Central Park. It's heavenly, I tell you. I snapped the photo above about two weeks ago on my walk in the morning. It was freezing that day (don't even get me started on this insanely long winter we've been having) but beautiful.

It's true what those Eagles say, in a New York minute everything can change.

A request

2011-04-07T09:47:00.002-05:00

Could those of you who have me linked on your blog roll with my full name please remove my last name? Please, and thank you! :)

Which is worse?

2011-04-06T21:15:00.003-05:00

Leaving a sports conditioning class early because you think you might pass out, throw up, or both?

Or being the fat kid who's constantly lagging behind everyone else?

Mind you, the instructor is someone on whom you have a big crush.

Tonight I chose the latter, but I really really wanted to die (of physical pain/exhaustion and embarrassment.)

Five years ago this weekend

2011-04-02T15:44:00.004-05:00

Some of my best girlfriends and I came to New York for spring break in my last semester at BYU-Idaho. I look at these girls and wonder what they would have thought if someone told them what the next five years held. One would be married, a home owner, spending weekends on their boat and expecting their second baby. One would have followed a boy to LA, broken up, found another and gotten married, and then moved to Utah, back to LA, and then planned a move to New York. (Which happens next week!) One would have ended up marrying the guy she was dating off and on at the point this photo was taken, and then had two babies together. One would go through some huge heartaches, travel the world, be a bridesmaid in two of these girls' weddings, and be living happily in New York, working on Wall Street during the financial crisis of 2008. And another would head back to her roots in Texas, living happily with her boyfriend.

Thank you Shantay, Aimee, Jordan, and Toni for such amazing memories I will have forever. I still think of you all and the fun we had when I pass by the Milford Plaza, Waldorf Astoria, Sbarro's, and the Statue of Liberty.

It's the freakin weekend baby I'm about to have me some fun.

2011-04-01T09:02:00.006-05:00

Happy Friday! Thank goodness the weekend is here. It’s been a busy week with work and fun and now I’m ready to relax. It will be an interesting weekend because most of my friends I usually spend time with have flown the coup. (Is that how the saying goes??) And when I say flown the coup, I mean left the country. I have one friend in London, two in Copenhagen, and another in DC. All for weekend trips. This, my friends, is why I can’t move back to the west coast. How great is it that you can go to another country for a long weekend, and only take two days off work, and not be too jetlagged? Not to mention it’s MUCH more affordable to fly from the east coast. My friends got a screamin’ deal to Copenhagen. $150. Roundtrip. That’s right. And London? Airfare was going for $400 roundtrip this week. That’s how much it usually costs me to get to California. One day I’ll settle down and quit wanting to go somewhere every weekend (maybe) but for now my list of places to see in Europe is growing by the day. Add to that list Iceland. I’ve been doing some research for my boss who’s going there for Memorial Day and it looks amazing.

So, since I won’t be distracted (too much) with socializing, I decided to attempt to make it a productive weekend. Here’s what’s on tap:

-pedicure

-catch this blog up with my life

-clean my apartment and get those little projects done I’ve been putting off for months (woopsies.)

-brunch (another reason I can never leave)

-conference

-drop off clothes at Housing Works (Continue the ongoing battle with too many clothes and not enough closet space. This is really a task in my current place. I bet I have less closet space than any female I know. Honestly. It's bad.)

-maybe catch a movie? I love the movies.

-boxing tonight (we’ll see, I have to work out some issues with my gym membership, but I haven’t seen my box boo in a month and I miss him)

-maybe watch a little Yankee baseball

It’s April and it’s snowing. This is not an April Fool’s joke. Sigh. Before you all tell me, yes, I am aware it was 90 degrees in California. Believe it or not I actually DO love the seasons, I just don’t like it when they last way longer than they should. It’s been almost 6 months of winter and that is way too long. Hurry up spring. I’m over this.

Happy weekend!

Update sorely needed, and coming soon.....

2011-03-30T15:40:00.001-05:00

I just made my blog public again and realized it might look like these are new updates to anyone who didn't read while I was private......these are indeed old, and I've got even more updates coming at you soon. :)

No more sleeping till noon, midday movies, afternoon naps, and most importantly, interviews.

2011-02-24T19:08:00.004-05:00

I finally got the job offer, sort of. I had been told in my final interview that this job would be temp to perm. I figured that was no big deal. I've never done temp to perm before, but I figured you basically were hired, on a trial basis for a few months, and then if they liked you, they kept you. Well, it's not exactly like that. At least not in this case. I don't get a formal offer until after this "trial" period. And until then, I'm making an hourly rate that is really not great at all, so, until this trial period is over I'm still on somewhat of a spending freeze.

I'll be working at a well known investment company as the executive assistant in the private equity group. The job duties are very similar to my last job, however the environment is different. I'll be in a quiet office, instead of a hectic trading floor. I'll be covering three men, instead of reporting to one Global Head (John) and covering his 30 +/- direct reports. I'm a little sad to be leaving the trading floor environment. I had never experienced anything like it. There were about 350 on the floor, people shouting all the time, random things happening when days were slow (like push up contests for upwards of $500) and just being around so many eccentric characters and such great guys. However, I will not miss working for such a large company where I felt like a number. In my first interview at this hedge fund the girl I met with had worked at a large Wall Street bank before this company as well. She said Wall Street is where you do your undergrad, and a hedge fund is where you go for your MBA. I love that. I'm really looking forward to being in an environment where I feel like I'm someone, and get to know more people. I'm also excited to have some work space, and some privacy. It's really hard to work when you have someone sitting next to you on each side, less than two feet away. Literally, we measured one time and there were like 20 inches between us. I can't tell you how many times drinks were spilled. And everyone pretty much knew the business of those sitting near them.

One of the things I'm most excited about, is the office is on the 41st floor, three blocks south of Central Park. There is an amazing view of the park I could never get sick of. Also, the real perk, it's only a mile from home so I'll walk to work every day! I know what you're thinking, "Yeah right, that's what you say now," but honestly where it's located in relation to my apartment it would make more sense to walk or take a cab than to take the subway. I'd only take the subway one stop, and then still have some walking ahead of me. By the time I did that, I really wouldn't be saving myself any time. And it would be way too pricey to take cabs every day (although, I know I will occasionally when the weather's really bad.) I can't even express how excited I am to forego the monthly subway card and expense of $104/month (I'll just pay-per-ride for when I do take the subway on occasion.) And, really, can you imagine a better commute to work than walking 25 minutes most of it through Central Park? I don't think one exists.

Anyway, thank you all so much for your supportive comments and prayers. Hopefully I will be a good match for the position and won't have to temp for too long.

Gaga oh lala!

2011-02-24T18:43:00.004-05:00

Clear back in May Reagan and I bought tickets to see Lady Gaga. Feb 2011 seemed soooo far away. I usually never plan anything that far in advance. I think all my international trips usually have less than two months prep time because I just get too impatient to plan that far out. However, as time does, it flew, and before we knew it we were talking about what we were going to wear for the concert. We both had a bit of sparkle, but didn't go too crazy (Reagan had to work and I'm just not that creative.) There were, however, some seriously sweet costumes. We saw an old lady in head to toe silver sparkles, lots of crazy wigs, a bird's nest on a guy's head, and 12 inch platforms (and some very impressive walking in them.)

A lot of people like to hate on Gaga because she's so weird. I think maybe people think she's just trying to get attention or something, I don't know. Apparently she told Anderson Cooper she dresses the way she does because it takes the focus away from her personal life. (It's true, do you ever hear any dating rumors about her? Or see any "Stars, they're just like us!" photos of her in Us Weekly?) Regardless, yes, she is a total freak, but I still love her. I love her music and I love love love her message. Both Reagan and I agreed we felt so uplifted and good about ourselves after leaving the concert. She promotes loving yourself, not letting anyone making you feel bad about yourself, and never being ashamed of yourself, even if you are different. She had a lot of crowd interaction, which I love. I loved hearing stories about her growing up in the city, taking the subway, going to the Tisch School of Arts at NYU, and her dreams of becoming a star. She was such a great entertainer. She sang all her hits, danced her hiney off in super tall heels all night, played the piano (I love when singers can play an instrument) and even played the guitar with her stiletto heel. So cool.

One of my favorite things about Gaga is how much she loves her fans and how appreciative she is to them. I've never been to a concert where the artist expressed so much sincere gratitude to his or her fans. She seems to really truly love her fans and and appreciate them.

Reags and I had such a blast, singing and dancing the whole night. I am so so happy we were able to get these tickets (even though our seats were terrible.) We still had the best time.

My friend Tyson had an amazing view from where he was standing. I stole this picture from him.

Reags and Rae.

PS Reagan wrote a way better recap of the concert on her blob.

Homesick for Australia.

2011-02-20T22:44:00.005-05:00

Watching The Amazing Race tonight gave me series homesick feelings for Australia. I would go back in a second. I decided to go through my photos and upload a few of my favorites. Turns out, when you take 723 photos on a trip (actually, that's not counting the ones I deleted) you can never have "just a few" favorites. This was the trip of a life time. Sigh...

In Brisbane (straight off the 15 hour flight, hence looking like death.)

At the Australia Zoo.

Maheno Shipwreck on Fraser Island.

Lake McKenzie. Still can't believe that's all rain water.

Sailing the Whitsunday Islands.

Whitehaven Beach. Most beautiful place I've ever seen.

Just before my camel ride in the Outback.

Outback sunset.

Walking the 9km around Uluru.

Driving the Great Ocean Road.

The Twelve Apostles.

In Melbourne.

At the Sydney Aquarium.

Walking the Sydney Harbour Bridge with Karen and Brooke.

A couple things I miss:

2011-02-17T02:21:00.002-05:00

This girl and my long hair.

A better day

2011-02-15T14:02:00.003-05:00

I wanted to get a new post up because I feel like my last post was so whiny. I feel guilty complaining when I have such a blessed and charmed life. No matter how much I tried to spoil myself, and how positive I told myself to be, I just couldn't get out of a funk. For some reason I've found myself to be particularly emotional lately and yesterday was no exception. Last week my dad was in town and over dinner we were discussing the good news I'd just gotten (that I was supposed to be getting this job offer....I'd found out literally right before he picked me up) and during this conversation discussed how I most likely will never work for John again, and also all the other MDs (managing directors) who worked under John, who I absolutely love, who all told me they'd give me stellar recommendations. I'll never adequately be able to describe my love for these men. They were so sweet to me, and took such good care of me. They were like big brothers in the way they constantly harassed me and were always digging around in my love life. They were so generous when it came to Christmas time, or any other random time when they just felt like buying me lunch. They really were my first family in New York and no matter how many jobs I have, or how many people I meet, that will never be replaced. As I was just briefly telling my dad about the nice texts I'd received from some of them I couldn't help but totally choke up. Then when we started discussing potentially working for John again, I mentioned how I just always felt like our time was over, and, once again, here came the water works. I've always been a pretty emotional person but lately it's been out of control. It's bizarre and there's really no explanation for it.

Anways, this was meant to be a brief post but I get rambling and always manage to turn these into novels.

I have some cousins that are pretty serious readers. Shellie reviewed Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close here, Trish reviewed it here, and Brooke reviewed it here. I know Elise is toying with reading it, and I recently heard it's being made into a movie. I've been hearing about this book for years, so on Sunday night I downloaded it to my kindle and have been loving it. Don't expect me to be finished in a week because I'm a terribly slow reader, but I'm excited to be back into a good book. I haven't read anything that I really loved for a while, so I'm excited about this book.

So far here's a couple of my favorite quotes:

What about little microphones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played the sounds of our hearts through little speakers, which could be in the pouches of our overalls?...except that the place in the hospital where babies are born would sound like a crystal chandelier in a houseboat, because the babies wouldn't have had time to match up their heartbeats yet. And at the finish line at the end of the New York City Marathon it would sound like a war.

In bed that night I invented a special drain that would be underneath every pillow in New York, and would connect to the reservoir. Whenever people cried themselves to sleep, the tears would all go to the same place, and in the morning the weatherman could report if the water level of the Reservoir of Tears had gone up or down, and you could know if New York was in heavy boots.

I especially loved this second quote, as anyone who knows me knows how much I love the Jackie O. Reservoir. It is one of my absolute favorite spots in the city, and one of my favorite forms of therapy.

Valentine's Day for the single and unemployed

2011-02-14T23:53:00.005-05:00

8:29am (not pictured) Woken up (briefly) by a "Happy v day" text from my old boss. Thoughtful. Can't you pleeeeease get a job so I can work for you again??

10:39am Finally rolling out of bed. (No interviews today.)

10:46am Texting with Brad. Always good for a laugh.

10:57am Breakfast! I love Grapenuts.

11:57am Had to hop in a cab because my subway decided to change routs right before my stop. I had a 12pm appointment. I was cutting it close.

2:20pm Rose petals lined the halls and stairs of the spa. The winter has been destroying my skin so I decided to treat myself to a Valentine's Day facial.

2:36pm Mmmmmm rice pudding...

3:07pm Back on the subway, in cognito, thanks to nasty post spa greaser look.

3:31pm Finally! After living near Central Park West for six months I finally spot a celeb just strolling along. Hello Jeffrey Tambor, I loved you as Pop Pop in Arrested Development. Please let there be a movie? (PS He is very thin.)

4:08pm (not pictured) Received the following text from my quasi-Valentine: R we still on for tonight or do u want to maybe hang out another night this week instead? My response: Sounds like that might be better for you... This initiated a phone call from him, and then an awkward conversation with curt responses from me. Turns out there's "too much pressure" on Valentine's (he asked me last week, mind you, not the other way around) and I made it very clear that considering the newness of our.....thing.......there was no pressure and we could do something very casual.

4:12pm Treated myself to some Trader Joe's roses (and a DDP I'd been craving for hours) after reading about Elise's sunflowers lasting three weeks.

4:37pm (not pictured) Received a phone call from old boss who informs me he was called to discuss my time working for him, from potential future employer. (Yes! Yes! Yes! Best news all day.)

6:05pm While in shower, the power goes out. I'd just started sudsing up the shampoo. Proceeded to shower in the pitch black. I'm talking, hold your hand in front of your face and can't see it, pitch black. It was.....creepy. Especially because Courtnie was on her way over and I'd left my door unlocked in case she got there before I finished showering. Every scary movie I'd ever seen came into my head. Thoughts of every exboyfriend flooded through my mind, as I wondered if there was anyone that wanted to kill me. I really creeped myself out, and decided to skip the shave, for safety's purpose, as well as hurrying the freak up to get out of the creepy dark shower.

7:45pm Dinner at Harry's with Courtnie. Just what I needed. More soda and delicious mexican food. Thank you.

8:33pm Cupcakes and Bachelor watching with some of my favorite ladies. I'm not usually a Bach watcher (more like a hater) however, when it's shared with these girls it's so so fun.

11:16pm Came home to a Valentine from Mom and Dad, and another from my Huddy Buddy. Have you seen a cuter Valentine? This was the best part of my day.

This breakdown is a takeoff from a great idea Elise read about here. Basically, on the 10th of each month, take a photo an hour, for ten consecutive hours. I think this is so cute and fun. Since I just missed it this month, I decided to do it for Valentine's Day (sorta.)

As I typed about my day I can't help but think to myself, "Wow, what a great day! (Minus that whole date ditching thing...)" But, for whatever reason, today was a really rough day. I think it's mostly because I've been waiting on a job offer that was supposedly coming mid-week last week. Every day it was "tomorrow" and then tomorrow would come and it was, once again, "tomorrow." I sort of hate talking about it because I feel like I'll jinx myself, plus, once it's out there everyone always wants to ask, "Did it happen? Did you hear anything?" And it sort of sucks to be like, "Yeah......no, haven't heard anything. Still interviewing." (Seriously though, don't ask. I promise to let everyone know when I have a job. Thanks for your concern.) Have I mentioned I'm siiiiiiiick of interviewing? So sick of it. And now that I'm supposedly getting this offer I'm really over it. So all day I was feeling really frustrated because I keep expecting to get the call, but no dice. I don't know which is worse, waiting for a guy to call or waiting for the headhunter to call with the offer. Every time my phone buzzes I jump, and every time I'm disappointed. This is why, when I found out they're checking my references, I was so so happy.

I guess you could say the second half of my day was definitely better than the first. It was just one of those days. And I know, I was even sick of being around myself. I was walking down the street, enjoying what was almost like a spring day (50 degrees!) but just feeling so sorry for myself. I kept telling myself to snap out of it, that I have it SOOOOO great and when I think about the problems so many of my loved ones are facing, I feel like the most ungrateful person ever. But...... it was just one of those days that I couldn't shake the blues. At the end of the day, it still sort of sucks to come home and go to bed alone. All day I sort of felt forgotten to everyone but my former employer. And I know, I KNOW I'm being ridiculous. Like I said, it was just one of those days where my brain can't get my emotions in order. This is why, coming home to two sweet valentines really really made my day. I should also mention, my mom, dad and brothers did call later, which was mucho appreciated, whether someone put the bug in their ear or not. I appreciated the gesture.

Okay, tomorrow's another day. I promise to make it a better day. I have an interview (sigh....) and then am going to boxing in the evening. I love love love boxing.

Happy Valentine's Day. Hope you all had a good day and a better attitude than me.

Four years ago today...

2011-02-07T01:25:00.002-05:00

JFK

Four years ago *today I left my parents' home early in the morning to catch a flight to my new home in NYC. I would be sharing a bedroom in an apartment in Harlem, which I'd only seen in photos. It's was a fifth floor walk up. I didn't know who my roommates were, or really very many people in the city for that matter. (Three, to be exact.) I thought the closer the location to Times Square, the better. I had about $1000 to my name. My monthly rent was $625, and I still had a car payment since I hadn't been able to sell my car back home. I planned on getting an entry level job in sales. After the sun went down and it became increasingly more cold (this was February, after all) I texted my roommate while she was in class to ask her how to turn the heat on. Her response? "Sadly, it is on." I was preparing to go on an interview the next day for what I later found out was a job as a mystery shopper. It was extremely awkward, and I told the guy, mid-meeting, that this just wasn't for me and got up and left. I spent most evenings exploring the city with my roommate Chelsie, or hanging out with a guy I had a long time thing for, and had no clue how to play the game. I was 23 and basically clueless. I spent many lunches and dinners at Giovanni's (or, Jerry's, to me and Chels) because Jerry and Mario were extremely friendly, and I could get a big slice and soda for $3. Not to mention, they frequently threw in a free piece of carrot cake. Once I changed directions and started looking for a job being an assistant I took the first offer I got.

Three years ago today I was living in the financial district in a high rise building, sharing an amazing apartment with three roommates, and a bedroom with one. I was dating someone who, even though I didn't realize it quite yet, I was crazy in love with. I felt like I'd officially made it in the city. I loved my job. (Was so lucky that the first offer I'd received ended up being the perfect job.) I had an amazing boss. I felt comfortable getting around the city on the subways without having to consult a map. I loved my ward. Things were good.

Two years ago today is a bit of a blur. This time of my life was incredibly tough and I was facing challenges more difficult than I'd ever experienced (and it got worse before it got better.) I still had the same job, and same amazing boss, thankfully, because he was so good to me when I was such a mess. I was still living in the financial district, but in a shoebox apartment with two other roommates. I gave up the amazing apartment two blocks away so I could get into a place in which I'd have my own room. There were some pretty serious problems in my family life, and I was in pieces over my best friend, the person I thought I was going to marry. I never knew I was capable of feeling so much love and hate and hurt, all directed at one person. I contemplated at times quitting my job, leaving New York, and just making some sort of change. (The big hair cut didn't quite satisfy that need.) I felt depressed and empty and lost. If it wasn't for my good friends, and a loving Heavenly Father, I never would have made it.

A year ago today I'd moved back to the amazing apartment in the financial district. Still had three roommates, but I had my own room. I was paying double the rent of my first apartment, but I didn't care. It was worth it. After dragging on for almost another year, I was just beginning to get over the relationship that still occasionally feels like it defines my life as "before him" and "after him." From this point on, things really started looking up, for a while. Still at the same job, still had the amazing boss, still loving the ward and my life, but feeling a little restless and like I needed a change of scenery. I felt, more than ever, that I needed my own space and independence. I was on my way to getting my life back together after having my world rocked too many times the year before. I was feeling good.

Today, I'm no longer employed. I'm no longer in love. I'm no longer torn to shreds over that love. I'm no longer living in the financial district. I no longer have roommates. I'm once again job hunting in the brutal winter, but I'm much more seasoned this time around. I've got experience. I've got money in the bank. I've got snow boots. I've got a coat that keeps me warm when it dips below 30 degrees. I've got more confidence. I've lost the naivete I had as a new girl in the city. I know what a want, instead of wanting almost any job that paid the bills. I've nailed the coffin shut, as much as possible without finding new love, in regards to my former love. I've learned a few lessons in dating, and even though I sometimes make the same mistakes, I don't make them over and over and over for months and months and months. Despite all the pain, I've taken such amazing lessons and become a better person from my past relationship. I have my own tiny studio on the Upper West Side which I love, in a location that almost can't be beat. I'm more comfortable being alone than ever, and in fact, not only am okay with it, but enjoy it, and sometimes prefer it. All that being said, I am far from having it all together. I have a lot of the same problems, but time and experience has taught me ways to better cope and recover. I'm more okay being me than I ever have been. I have a lot of questions about some pretty important things in life, and am working on figuring them out. As someone who's officially in their late 20s, I couldn't agree more that your 20s are for traveling and making mistakes.

I still love New York, maybe more than ever. I'll never have that new, giddy happiness I had for the first few months I moved here. But it's a more developed and mature love. A deep love. My dear friend Jane once told me, "Happiness isn't being giddy. Happiness is feeling joy and being content." This is my home. I can't imagine leaving or living anywhere else. Despite my darkest times when I craved a change, I don't have the "love/hate" relationship with New York so many of my friends talk about. It is love/love.

Thank you, New York. I love you.

*This was posted after midnight, so it's not exactly "today." I moved to New York February 6, 2007.

Paris has ruined me

2011-02-06T00:02:00.001-05:00

Ever since my trip I can't stop thinking about macarons. Vanilla, in particular. I don't even want to admit how many I've eaten this week, thanks to Gina informing me they sell them at Trader Joe's. They are my new favorite treat. Ridiculously delicious.

An international evening

2011-02-05T23:16:00.002-05:00

Last night we saw Biutiful and I loved it. I'm sort of of the opinion that Jarvier Bardem can do no wrong. I will warn you, it's lengthy, and heavy. It's 2 1/2 hours long and all in subtitles. I wouldn't say everyone would love it, but I definitely did. I'm glad we saw a 6:45pm movie though, because we didn't get out until 9:30. I have a really tough time staying awake in any movie but I only got sleepy once.

Next we headed to a restaurant in my hood that I can't remember the name of, but it was middle eastern food. I know, right? Who'da thunk? And guess what? I loved it. Maybe I just loved what we ordered, but it was delish.

I feel so ethnic.

Have you seen the latest Piper Jane video?

2011-02-03T19:47:00.003-05:00

I just watched it and cried and cried. I love this little girl so much, even though I've only met her once. Part of the reason I love this video is to see Piper walking so well, and part of it is because of the pure love you can feel between Reagan and Piper. It's hard not to just watch Piper the whole time, but watch Reagan. Such a pure, mama love beaming from her face.

Thanks so much for always sharing Piper with us Reags.

Check out the video here.

Meet Spencer James Hope

2011-01-30T22:23:00.002-05:00

Arrived Monday January 24, 2011 at 11:45am

Nine pounds even.

Everyone is doing great. I can't wait to go up to New Hampshire to meet the little guy. I'm now a proud aunty six times. :)

Me and Mikey

2011-01-30T21:33:00.002-05:00

Mikey Perkey headed out to the Big D for a new job last week. I'm so sad. I'll definitely be out to visit. I miss you Mikey!

My block last Thursday

2011-01-30T21:20:00.002-05:00

Did you hear about our record snow fall for the month? I am so happy I don't own a car to dig out.